I had been reorganizing my kitchen cabinets, which was not exercise even if Tessa claimed I was moving with “hostile athleticism.”
I listened to the messages twice. Only because Dani’s instructions occasionally lacked specificity. On Thursday, my first assigned run-walk session took place on the indoor track. I completed six rounds of one minute running and ninety seconds walking. I followed the instructions exactly, including the requirement to stop if my effort exceeded seven out of ten. My recorded effort was 6.8.
Dani changed it to seven.
“You cannot alter my subjective rating,” I told her.
“I watched you.”
“The number reflects my internal experience.”
“Your internal experience was wheezing.”
“I did not wheeze.”
“You sounded like an accordion falling down stairs.”
“That comparison is not medically useful.”
“It’s emotionally accurate.”
Then she added a gold star sticker to my workout page. I removed it. When I got home, I placed it in the clear pocket at the front of the binder so the adhesive would not collect lint. This was not sentimental. It was document preservation. By Friday morning, my legs ached in places I had not known were capable of objection.
The discomfort was not severe. It was simply democratic. My calves, thighs, hips, and something along the outside of my left foot had all registered complaints. I stood in the kitchen wearing pajama pants and performed the calf stretch Dani had demonstrated. Tessa entered carrying a laundry basket. She stopped.
“What are you doing?”
“Mobility.”
“You look like you’re trying to push the wall out of the apartment.”
“The position stretches the gastrocnemius.”
“I don’t know what that is.”
“The larger calf muscle.”
“You’ve been training for four days.”
“I have access to anatomical diagrams.”
Tessa put the basket on the table. “How’s your hot trainer?”
“She’s fine.”
“That was fast.”
“What was?”
“Your answer. You usually require a disclaimer before discussing her.”
“I don’t usually discuss her.”
“You said her name in your sleep.”
I turned away from the wall.
“That is not true.”
