“You’re too close to it, and teenage guys aren’t the easiest to figure out.”
She looked at him with trust in her eyes again. He sucked in his breath and wished he could put on a red cape for her. “What do I do? I can’t let Ryder feel guilty for the choices I made.”
“You start by going home and being honest with him.”
“You’re right.” She picked at her fingernail. “Dumping my problems on you wasn’t what I planned for tonight. Can I give you a rain check?”
“I’ll hold you to it.” They had time. Not much, but some. That would have to be enough, and he’d enjoy every moment and for now, quit worrying about the future.
*
On the drivehome, Carly rehearsed various scripts for talking to Ryder, but all that accomplished was make her want to throw up. When she pulled into the driveway, she forgot about what she’d considered saying, deciding to speak honestly from her heart.
Once inside, she headed for Ryder’s room and knocked on the door. “Ryder, can we talk.”
“Forget it.”
“I know you’re upset because you think I blame you for having to stay in Service all these years.”
Feet pounded across the wood floor. The door flew open. Ryder stood in front of her, his body rigid with anger, his hands fisted at his sides. “He had no right to tell you. What else did he say?”
“Nothing, and Owen only told me what you were mad about because I begged him and because I didn’t think you’d talk to me otherwise.”
“You got that right, and I’m not gonna talk to you now.”
When he tried to shut the door, she shoved her boot into the space to keep it open. “We can either do this face-to-face, or through the closed door, but I will have my say.”
“Whatever.” Ryder stormed across his room and threw himself on his bed. Then he grabbed earbuds, jammed them in his ears, and stabbed at his phone. Even across the room she could hear the heavy metal music.
She stalked across his room and withdrew the earbuds and clutched them in her fists. While she couldn’t make him listen or understand what she said, she could make him physically hear her words. “No one forced me to live at home rather than in the college dorms. I chose to. Then after graduation, no one made me take a job in Service. If I’d wanted to work elsewhere, I would’ve applied at other agencies, but I chose to live here.”
“All I’ve been to you is a chain around your neck. I was a promise to fulfill to Mom.”
“I admit that Mom asked for my promise to help raise you, but I would’ve done that whether she asked or not.”
Her brother laughed. The harsh, bitter sound grated against her ears and slashed through her heart. “That’s rich. Save it for someone who’ll believe your story.”
“It’s the truth. Some of the best moments of my life are ones I’ve spent with you.” Tears pooled in her eyes, but she bit her lip to hold them back. She refused to cry. Ryder would only think it a cheap ploy anyway.
Instead, she focused on her memories. “When you took your first steps, they were toward me. The first word you said was my name. I was so proud when you hit your first home run after all the hours we spent with my pitching to you to improve your hitting.” She sank onto the foot of his bed. “And I wouldn’t trade a minute of it for anything. But now that you’re going to college, I can see what the world outside Service has to offer.”
The anger in his gaze softened a touch, but Ryder remained stubbornly silent. Not that she blamed him, considering what she’d done. But tonight, she’d settle for him listening and call it a success.
She placed his earbuds on the bed, stood and walked across the room, but paused at the door to glance back at him. While he didn’t look at her, he hadn’t reached for his earbuds. “You may not believe it, but I love you and haven’t regretted the decision I made to help raise you.”
*
The next weekpassed in a blur as Carly and Owen spent almost every night together preparing for their meeting with Clint McMillan. Owen’s business sense continued to impress Carly. While he had to take copious notes to retain information and referred to them often, his brain injury hampered him only slightly with decision making time and finishing tasks. He also appeared to enjoy fundraising and preparing proposals. Definitely more than she did.
On presentation day, as Owen drove across town, Carly sat in the passenger seat picking at her tan skirt, mentally insisting she could do this. If only they weren’t asking for such a large donation and their success wasn’t so crucial. She couldn’t saddle her successor with a major fundraising project. When they reached American Mobile Homes, Carly was wound as tight as a kid the morning after Halloween. As Owen helped her from his truck, she gripped his hand as if she’d collapse if he let go.
“There’s no reason to be nervous,” he said, smiling in reassurance.
“Do I look that nervous?”
“You look great. Fantastic even. But if you don’t loosen your grip, darlin’, I’ll lose a finger or two from lack of circulation.”
She flashed him a brittle smile and released his hand. “This wouldn’t be so stressful if it wasn’t so important. We can’t have an office that exacerbates veterans’ problems. Add that to what a huge donation we’re asking for, and I’m so scared I’m surprised I can talk.”
