Carly winced at the venom in her brother’s voice, and how he stared at her as if she were a mosquito buzzing around him, and once she landed he’d obliterate her.
Of course, Owen had taken the high road. His character allowed for nothing less. Refusing to lie to Ryder but unwilling to lay open her complicated feelings and relationship with Owen, she said, “He and I talked about how our lives are going in opposite directions. He wants to stay in Service, but I want to make a change. It’s hard to make something work with that.”
“How could you do that to him after what he’s been through?”
“You’re not being fair.”
“He loves you, and you tossed him over like a cold-hearted bitch.”
She stood beside her brother, frozen, no longer wanting to defend herself. How could she?
“Until I heard you on the phone saying you couldn’t wait to leave, I idolized you. I thought I could never live up to your example. What a joke. The funny thing is, I always thought Dad was selfish, but he can’t compete with you. You played the martyr, and you’re more selfish than he could ever be.”
Her mind shut down, no longer able to absorb or defend against Ryder’s verbal assault. She deserved every word he shot at her. Instead, she concentrated on remaining upright, forcing herself to continue breathing instead of curling up in a ball and crying.
Life was full of choices, each one sending ripples outward affecting her life and those around her. Something Owen had said replayed in her mind.
You don’t have a clue why you’re so set on leaving and pushing people away. But here’s a news flash, darlin’. You’re running because you’re scared of getting hurt or disappointed. And you know what that’s doing? It’s keeping you from seeing what’s great about the life you have.
Those words paired with Ryder’s martyr comment crashed through Carly, making breathing difficult.
She’d made her choice to live at home and commute to Texas Women’s University to help raise Ryder. But she never admitted in choosing that, she’d also chosen the consequences. Instead, she’d grown angry and bitter over how the changes affected her life. Her chest tightened. And she’d done the same with other decisions. She’d agreed to become director and stayed on when they couldn’t find a replacement and complained about being unhappy. Her thoughts returned to Owen. Oh, Lord. She’d decided to break up with him rather than try making the long-distance relationship work.
She’d never owned the consequences that resulted from her decisions.
Glancing at the pain radiating on Ryder’s young face, hurt she’d caused, she said, “You’re right. I acted like the victim and that hurt you when it wasn’t your fault.”
Ryder rolled his eyes, clearly not believing her. But then why should he? “I’ll be glad when you get the hell outta here. In fact, I wish you’d leave tonight, so I never have to see you again.”
She wavered. The blow threatening to level her as it ripped another hole in her heart. “Ryder, please don’t—”
“One day you’ll wake up and find no one gives a crap about you. When that happens, don’t call me.” He paused and laughed. The harsh, edgy sound sliced through her frayed heart. “On second thought, call me so I can say you got exactly what you deserved.”
Then he turned and stormed off.
“Don’t go like this. Not when you’re so upset,” Carly pleaded, her voice filled with desperation and guilt as she chased after him. “This isn’t about you or Owen. It’s this town. It’s killing my soul. You’re young. Surely you can understand wanting to see what else the world has to offer.”
When Ryder failed to acknowledge her, she grabbed his arm. He spun to face her, his young face twisted with rage and loathing. She pulled away, broken. The fear she’d lost him for good shrouded her.
Ryder dug his keys from his pocket and stalked toward the garage.
“Where are you going?” she shouted at his retreating form.
“If you’re staying at this house, I’m not.”
Pain and regret over her actions and how she might have irrevocably damaged her relationship with Ryder, blasted through Carly, leaving her numb. She refused to hurt him further by driving him from the only home he’d ever known. “You stay. I’ll leave.”
Fifteen minutes later, after tossing personal necessities and clothes in a suitcase, she searched for her father. Yesterday, she’d been happier than she remembered and now her life had imploded. First with Owen, and now her brother. She’d never meant to hurt either of them, yet she had with her choices and how she’d handled them.
She found her dad seated in his recliner in front of the TV. When he asked about her suitcase, the day’s events gushed from her like a freshly tapped Texas oil well and proving to be as messy.
“I think it’d do you good to stay with Reese for a couple days. Give Ryder time to cool off. Then try talking to him again.”
“But what if I can’t fix this?”
Her father patted her hand. “Even if you do, it won’t be easy or done quick. But I’ll talk to Ryder, too, since part of this is my fault. I wasn’t the father I should’ve been. I let you take on too much after your mother died.”
She collapsed onto the couch, unable to believe he’d realized the fact, much less he’d voiced the words.
