“So you’re just gonna let her railroad you again?”
“Not you too?” I plop down into a chair, resting my elbows on my knees with my head in my hands, my fingers gripping my hair tightly.
“What do you want me to say, Mia? Enjoy your date with Doctor Quincy? What the fuck kind of name is that anyway?”Guess he heard a lot, then.
“I’m not going on any date, Jace.”
“But youaregoing home?”
I lift my head to glance at him, and I immediately wish I hadn't. The worry in those blue eyes kills me, and it’s pure agony. I turn my gaze towards the lake. “I don’t know. It’s not that simple.”
“What the fuck do you mean:it’s not that simple?”
I rise from my chair and face the water, knowing I can’t look at him right now. “I have responsibilities and obligations, Jace. I can’t just walk away. This is what it’s like to be a mature grownup.”
“What about writing? You just never gonna pursue that? You’re never gonna go after your dream?” I hear his voice get closer, and I know he’s walking towards me.
“It was never real, Jace. Just wishful thinking. I have to go back.”
“So you’re gonna walk away, then?”
I know he’s hurt, but it hurts me too. I turn around and look at him, seeing his jaw is tight while his body nearly vibrates with raw emotion. “This isn’t easy, Jace. Try to understand.” I plead with him, but I can tell he’s building a wall between us.
“Then go, Mia, because Idon’tunderstand. This isyourlife. You’ve lived long enough for someone else. You’ve missed out on everything you wanted, and you know it, or you wouldn’t have run away from your job. But you’re scared.”
Affronted, I let out a small huff. “I’m not scared.”
“Yes, you are. Someone else has always called the shots. And now it’s time to call them yourself, and you don’t know if you can.”
I pivot on my heel, refusing to face him. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m right here, Mia. Your Nana’s here. You can have a life here—areallife. Don’t walk away from it. Don’t walk away fromme.”
I shake my head, thinking he’s wrong. He doesn’t know what he’s talking about. I’mnotscared, and Idohave responsibilities and obligations back home. I spin back around, but he’s gone, and my heart sinks.
What do I do now?
8
MIA
Iwait for Jace to come home, but he doesn’t show up. It feels wrong being here without him, so I leave and go to Nana’s. Although we’ve only been together—if you can even call it that—for about two weeks, I still hate that we’re apart right now. This little bit of time that we’ve spent together has shown me the life I want to be living, and I’m afraid I’ve gone and messed it all up.
I stay awake, thinking Nana will eventually make an appearance, but that woman is a night owl. I swear the older she gets, the younger she acts. Deciding to talk to her in the morning, I head to the guest room to try to get some shut-eye. But sleep never comes, because all I can think about is the hurt I saw in Jace’s eyes when I didn’t agree to stay.
By 1 a.m., my legs are restless, and the sheets are a tangled mess around my feet. Finally, I give up pretending I’m actually going to get any rest and head to the kitchen for a snack. When I flip on the light, I hear the back screen door slam closed and stop in my tracks as I watch my Nana remove her lips from some man who has to be at least twenty years younger than her. I’m not sure who’s more embarrassed: me or her gentleman friend. Butit’s pretty clear that Nana’s amused, judging from the devilish smirk on her face.
“Boots! What are you doin’ here, chile?”
Once my shock wears off, and I’m able to find my tongue, I respond, “I, uh… I just wanted to talk to you. But you’re busy, so…”This is awkward.
“Nonsense, Boots. I’m never too busy for my favorite grandbaby.”
I tilt my head at her. “I’m your only grandbaby, Nana.”
She turns to address her friend. I pretend her antique tea set is exceptionally fascinating at the moment to give them the illusion of privacy. Yet, I can still hear everything she’s saying and can’t help but be reminded of Blanche Devereaux, one of my favorite TV characters.
“Thomas, darling. Would you mind terribly if I took a rain check for tonight?”Did her southern accent get stronger, or was that my imagination?“It’s obvious my sweet Boots needs me. I couldn’t possibly turn her away, now, could I?” Thomas responds, but it’s too low for me to hear. “I promise to make it up to you. I’ll even do that thing you like…”
