“You cold again?”
“I’m fine,” I snap.
“Okay, then.”
He backs away and I breathe a sigh of relief at the distance between us.
“Now the bridle.” He slips a metal piece into the horse’s mouth and she opens up, showing off her yellow teeth and huge tongue. Horses do seem kind of like giant dogs. I hope they don’t also like to lick humans, because no.
“You ready?”
“As I’ll ever be.” My stomach is churning with nerves, but I can do this.
He hands me the reins, and I follow him out of the barn to a small round pen with a dirt floor. Great. It won’t be a secret to anyone if I fall off.
Shutting the gate behind us as soon as Flash’s back hooves clear the entrance, he leads me to a set of black steps off to the side and takes the reins from me to park the horse beside them.
“I can teach you how to mount from the ground eventually, but for now you can use the mounting block. You good?”
“Fantastic,” I say, and he smiles, not seeming to catch on to the sarcasm dripping from my voice. He’s got this kind of cheery optimism layered over his steady patience, and I can’t decide if it’s more sweet or annoying.
I put a foot in the stirrup as he instructs me, straighten my back, and slip into my acting skin, pretending this is something I’ve done a million times. I’m barely aware of my leg swinging over her back, my heart is poundingin my ears so loudly, and then I lower myself onto the saddle. Shit, I did it. I’m up here!
I glance down and the dirt ground looks pretty far, but I’ve done stunt jumps from higher up. Of course, those were onto carefully placed mattresses and pads, but still, I survived.
Quint fusses around with the stirrups until my legs feel even, and I try to sit up tall like he told me to.
Things look different up here. I can see some of the other horses in the field off in the distance racing around or grazing. “Do you wish you were out there, girl? Sorry.” I give Flash a pat on the neck.
“How’s it feel up there?” He squints up at me.
“Weird.” I shift in the saddle, trying to get comfortable on the hard leather seat.
“You’ll get used to it. And eventually it just might be one of your favorite places to be. There’s a freedom to being on the back of a horse. You can’t get it anywhere else.”
There’s so much passion in his voice, I can tell he means it. I admire that passion. When was the last time I felt like that about anything? Acting used to do it for me. That’s the reason I wanted to make this my career. But nothing can prepare you for the media, the fans, the intense scrutiny of your appearance and every action. Sure, it’s the life I chose, but there’s got to be some sort of compromise. Some way I can live my dream and have a meaningful life outside of acting.
The ground shifts, and I grab the saddle horn, clinging for dear life. But it was just the horse moving underneathme. Maybe she was bored with my self-indulgent contemplation.
“You’re right, girl. Most people would be grateful for the kind of success I’ve had so young.” I whisper the words under my breath.
“What’s that?” Quint asks.
“Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud.”
“Okey dokey.” He probably thinks I’m losing it. “You ready to go for a little walk?”
My fingers tighten around the horn until my knuckles turn white.
“Don’t worry, I won’t let go. You can ease up on that.” He nods at my hands. “I’ve never seen anyone break a saddle’s horn, but there’s a first time for everything.”
I inhale through my nose, exhale through my mouth then nod. “I think I’m ready.”
“Here we go. Try to sit tall, keep your back straight, shoulders back, but relax your hips so they move with the rhythm of her gait.”
That’s a lot to think about, and the more I try to concentrate, the stiffer everything gets.
“Come on, girl,” he says clucking his tongue and stepping forward.
