“Then cut yourself some slack, Tess. You’ll do fine—this is your wise aunt speaking, and the only time I thought I was wrong, I was mistaken.” They both laughed. “As we’ve talked about in the past, it’s a mindset for you. You’re smart and efficient.”
“Thanks, Alice. But the presiding judge thing is only one piece of why I called.”
“I’ve got a second ear. Let’s hear it.” Alice conveyed warmth and openness, the reason Tess had called her.
“Bree. She’s the woman—”
“—you left in Tahoe.”
“She’s just been brought on as a fellow judge in the Corazon courthouse,” Tess replied.
“And that’s a problem because…? It sounds optimal.”
“She doesn’t want what I want.” Tess cursed herself for actually choking up. She knew how to handle rejection. Move on and get over it. She’d learned her lessons from her parents and in her occasional attempts at romance that had never worked out. She’d also developed an aversion to situations that exposed her to possibly being rebuffed. She’d had enough of that for a lifetime, and yet here she was.
“What does she want?”
“Not me.” Saying it out loud sparked the ache in Tess’s chest. Bree did not want her. “Essentially, she wants to focus on all the recent changes in her life. A polite way of letting me know where I stand. So I invited her to coffee, so we could leaveTahoe behind,” Tess said. “I told her that I wanted a cordial relationship…and then the term evolved toamiable.”
“And her response?”
“She suggestedfriendly.” Effing friendly wasn’t what Tess wanted either.
Alice chuckled. “Cordial, to amiable, to friendly…it sounds like you two haven’t slammed the door, sweet pea. Maybe you’re even making progress. Don’t confuse this Bree woman with your mother.”
Tess just grunted.Progress?She thought about their last night in Tahoe…definitely not her mother. But she didn’t want to be suspended in some shadowland between heaven and hell.
“Maybe she’s got legitimate reasons to hold back for now,” Alice said.
“And maybe I’ve got legitimate reasons for trying to get on with my life.” Legitimate reasons that included Tess’s personal war with her past, her present, and her future. And now her lifelong battle with feelings of being inadequate was manifesting in where she currently stood with Bree—she could rationalize Bree’s reasons for not wanting to dive headlong into a new relationship, but tell that to what her heart wanted. She’d never before been willing for her heart to take the risk, but when they were together, she wanted to believe that there might be conflicting signals from Bree. And that maybe the risk would be worth it.
“You probably do have legitimate reasons to move on.” Alice’s tone now carried a note of humor. “It’s not like you like her, and it’s not like she took the time to meet you at a coffeehouse and escalated your interactions fromcordialtofriendlyafter she let you know about all those inconsequential changes in her life—a divorce, a major move, a new job. And it’s not like there’s been any kind of indication other than she wants nothing to do with you.”
“You’re a big help,” Tess grumbled.
“I am. And I’m always here if you need me, Presiding Judge Theresa Fairchild. It has a ring to it, you know. But I can still say that I love you, Tess. And sometimes…legitimate reasons be damned.”
Chapter Eight
In this past week, Bree had exchanged passing pleasantries with Tess and felt the pull for more. She missed interacting with Tess, but she was also trying to honor their agreement. Tess seemed to be settling into her role as presiding judge‚ undoubtedly with the help of Helene.
Helene worked under the direction of the presiding judge, and she’d demonstrated the key role she played in helping oversee the judicial administration. From Helene’s office, Bree had recently received notification of an upcoming continuing education event for new judges and information regarding court case assignments.
Today had been a long day. It was seven o’clock and time to go home. The courthouse had pretty much emptied out almost two hours ago. Bree collected her belongings and headed out of her chambers. As she passed Tess’s door, she saw Tess standing next to her desk as she loaded a pile of legal journals into a satchel.
Bree hesitated a moment, just long enough for Tess to look over and see her. Tess was a master at politely distancing people, especially here in her professional world. Bree had witnessed it, a masterful poker face that projected that blasted cordial facade she tried so hard to adhere to, but Bree had known her outside of this environment, had seen that facade peeled away, had witnessed Tess in all her literally unchecked naked glory.
And now, Bree didn’t miss the almost imperceptible flash of warm spark in Tess’s gaze before Tess schooled her expressionto convey so much less. Yup, it was definitely a congenial coworker presentation that Tess was trying to offer her as she struggled the same way Bree was struggling—it was clear they were both trying to figure out how to interact with each other. Bree kicked herself for the fact that Tess felt compelled to kill that spark, the one that ignited her own heat, but also connected directly with more than physical desire. Bree couldn’t deny there were emotions involved. She felt them, and they were growing.
Rather than a simple nod before she headed on, Bree found herself stepping into Tess’s office space and schooling her tone to casual. “How’s the new job going?”
“Fine. I’m learning the ins and outs of presiding.”
“Is everyone behaving themselves the way you want them to?”
Shit. That hadn’t come out the way Bree had intended. There was a lot that could be read into it. Tess offered a responding look that didn’t mask a touch of the sorrow and regret that Bree had noticed before.
Tess’s shirt was three buttons undone, and Bree redirected her attention from Tess’s hard-to-ignore cleavage, to where she could barely make out the edge of where the bullet had narrowly missed Tess’s heart. A heart that Bree knew she’d wounded without ever intending to.
