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Her wide eyes searched mine. She looked scared. “Can’t do what…stay? You know Denny would want to say goodbye to you.” Her voice trailed off, like she knew this wasn’t about Denny. Not really.
Pain gnawed at my stomach. I couldn’t lie. I couldn’t give her a snide response. I couldn’t even laugh it off. I was drowning in pain, and truth was my only outlet. “I can’t stay here…in Seattle. I’m leaving.”
Just saying the words tore me apart. I didn’t want to go, but staying here with her wasn’t an option anymore. It would be like willingly dunking myself in boiling water. Impossible.
Tears sprang into Kiera’s eyes. She grabbed my arm again and held on with a fierceness I’d never seen from her before. “No, please, don’t leave! Stay…stay here with…with us. Just don’t go…”
She started to sob, and the tears ran down her cheeks like rivers. I’d only ever seen her this upset about Denny. When he left she’d cried like this. Why was she crying for me? No one ever cried for me. No one. “I…why are you…? You said…” I swallowed back the confusing emotions that were making speech impossible. Why was she crying? What did this mean? I didn’t want to hope, but a trace amount of the feeling was bubbling up through the despair. Did she care about me? Honestly care?
I stared past her. I couldn’t watch the confusing tears anymore. “You don’t…you and me aren’t…” You don’t care about me. I know you don’t. Do you? “I thought you…” You love him. I was a mistake. I’m the only one who cares here, that’s why it hurts so much.
Exhaling a steadying breath, I met her eyes again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’ve been cold, but I can’t stay, Kiera. I can’t watch it anymore. I need to leave…” My voice trailed off in a whisper as horror flashed through me. I’d told her the truth. I’d put my heart out there, and she could cut me. Again.
She looked shocked by my confession, but that was her only reaction. Grief welled in me. No, she didn’t care. I turned to leave, but she yanked my body into hers and yelled, “No! Please, tell me this isn’t because of me, because of you and me…”
“Kiera…” Yes, that’s exactly what this is about.
She brought a hand to my chest and stepped closer to me. The tenderness and proximity sent a shock of desire through me. I still wanted her. I still loved her. It eased the pain, but not the confusion. “No, don’t leave because I was stupid. You had a good thing here before I…”
I retreated from her by a half step. It was the farthest I could push her away, because I didn’t want to push her away. I wanted her closer…so much closer. “It’s not…it’s not you. You didn’t do anything wrong. You belong to Denny. I never should have…” I sighed as the truth hit me like a ton of bricks. This was never her fault. All this time I’d been angry at her, and I was the one to blame. I had known she loved Denny. I had known she was masking her pain with me. But she hadn’t known that I loved her. She hadn’t known she meant anything to me at all, so how could she possibly have known that she’d hurt me? I’d vanished right afterward, then grown cold, then grown distant. She was never mine to take. She was Denny’s, and I was a bastard for ever going there. “You…you and Denny are both…”
Tears still streaming down her face, she stepped closer and pressed her body against mine. Her touch burned like fire…and I was so cold. “Both what?” she asked.
I couldn’t move; I could barely breathe. I wanted her more than I’d ever wanted anyone, but this wasn’t right. We weren’t meant to be…but I needed her so much. “You’re both…important to me,” I whispered, meaning every syllable.
She brought her lips so close to mine, I could feel her breath on my face. My heart started racing. She was so close. Another inch…and she’d be mine. “Important…how?”
Say it. Just say it. Tell her that you love her. Tell her that she’s all you think about, and every bad mood or dick comment you’ve ever made was because she hurt you. Confess, goddammit.
Why? She’s with Denny. It won’t change anything.
I shook my head and stepped back again. “Kiera…let me go. You don’t want this…” You don’t want me. “Go back inside, go back to Denny.” Where you belong.
I moved my hand to pull her off me, but she batted my arm away. “Stay,” she commanded.
Warmth and pain battled within me. No one had ever asked me to stay before. No one had ever shed tears over me before. She did care. She had to. But she cared about him too…and I didn’t know what to do about that. “Please, Kiera, go.” Before we both get hurt even more…go.
Her beautiful eyes were a deep emerald green in the semidarkness. They searched mine as she spoke. “Stay…please. Stay with me…don’t leave me.”
Her voice broke as she begged for herself, not for Denny. This no longer had anything to do with Denny. This was about her and me. A tear rolled down my cheek, and I did nothing to stop it. She wanted me to stay with her. She cared about me. She wanted me. Me.
But as much as I wanted to pretend it was just the two of us in this parking lot, I knew we weren’t alone. And I couldn’t do that to him. He meant a lot to me. But I’d never had this…I’d never had anyone want me. I’d never been wanted at all. Warring with myself, I muttered, “Don’t. I don’t want…” I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to get hurt. So what do I want?
Her palm touched my face then, and her thumb brushed away the track of my tear. Her warmth seared me. It traveled all the way down my body, igniting me. My breath stopped as my eyes locked onto hers. I wanted her. Now. But I still couldn’t do this.
Her other hand reached up to grab my neck. She pulled me until our lips brushed together. I almost crumpled to my knees, it felt so good. She closed her eyes and pressed her lips against mine again. I stiffened, but moved my lips with hers. Jesus, I’d missed this so much. I’d missed her so much. I wanted her so much. I loved her so much. But still…
“Don’t do this,” I whispered to myself between our hungry lips. This will only hurt us…all three of us. Be strong enough to walk away. Stop this. Her lips pressed harder against mine. Even as pain leached out of my throat in a whimper, my willpower dissolved. “What are you doing, Kiera?” What am I doing?
She paused with her lips brushing mine. “I don’t know…just don’t leave me, please don’t leave me.” The truth and pain in her voice were undeniable—she wanted me.
Her eyes were shut, so she couldn’t see the smile on my face. I won’t. I won’t ever leave you. “Kiera…please…” I’m yours…take me. My resistance faded away with a shudder, and I sought her mouth. I needed her. I’d always needed her. And she wanted me to stay…she wanted me with her…she wanted me. And I was hers.
My lips parted and my tongue brushed against hers. She moaned in my mouth and feverishly tasted me again. She wanted more. I wanted more. Now that we were chucking all common sense out the window and going for this, desperation was driving us. The needy energy bouncing between us electrified me. I wanted to rip her clothes off and drive inside her. I wanted her body clutched around me. I want to feel her skin dampen with sweat, wanted to taste every inch of her, wanted her to cry out my name as she came. My body was ready for her. My heart was ready for her too.
She wanted me…
I pulled us backward as our mouths frantically moved together. There was an espresso stand in this parking lot. I’d seen it on the way to my car. Kiera and I needed privacy to keep going with this, and there was no way in hell I was stopping now. I loved her, I needed her, nothing else mattered. No one else mattered.
My back hit the door of the espresso stand. Kiera pressed me into it, her body squeezing into mine. Fire spread throughout my body, and my breath quickened as my cock hardened. I needed her so much. I slipped my hands under her shirt to feel the smooth, soft skin of her lower back. I wanted to feel more. We needed to be more alone than this.
I reached behind me to open the door. If this fucking thing wasn’t open, I was going to bust the goddamn door down. One way or another, I was getting inside. Luckily, the knob twisted under my grasp. Thank God for careless employees.
Pushing away from the door, I shoved it open. Kiera and I locked eyes as our mouths broke apart. There was so much passion and desire in her gaze…it tore me. And I swear…I swear I saw something else there too. Something deeper. Something that made risking everything we were about to risk worth it. I replayed every kind word and gentle touch that she had given me. She cared. She was worth it. She was worth anything.
My body was aching. I needed to be with her. I slid my hands down her back, clutched her thighs, and picked her up. Once we were inside the dark stand, I released her and closed the door. We stood there for a moment, panting. The electricity between us grew as the darkness amplified our senses. Her arms were tight around my neck, my arm was cinched around her waist. I couldn’t believe we were here, together, wanting the same thing from each other…needing the same thing.
