Axel lifted his head at her voice, dazed but aware.
“Don’t move,” she said, her hand settling carefully against his neck.
Dom was beside Wade, one knee braced on the floor as he checked for a pulse. Siren moved to Reese, eyes cutting over her face, her hands, the front of her body.
“Reese,” she said. “Are you hit?”
Reese shook her head without looking away from Axel.
Dom lifted his fingers from Wade’s throat. “He’s dead.”
Chapter
Twenty-Seven
apartment to the door.When he opened it, a man from Fate Mountain Lodge stood in the hallway with paper bags stacked in both arms and a covered tray balanced against his hip. Axel grabbed the tray, and Reese took the rest. They set everything on the kitchen counter.
Steam fogged the plastic lids. The smell filled the apartment as soon as Axel opened the first carton, rich and warm and delicious-smelling. Reese found plates while Axel moved the paperwork off the table.
They opened the cartons and set them out. Pot roast with mashed potatoes, roast chicken with sage gravy, beef pot pie, smoked gouda mac and cheese, green beans with almonds, roasted carrots, apple-walnut salad, sourdough rolls with whipped honey butter, peach cobbler, and chocolate bourbon cake.
Reese looked from the food to him. “How many people did you think were coming?”
“I really like their food.” He smiled, uncovered the sourdough rolls, and set the whipped honey butter on the counter.
Everything smelled delicious, and looking at it all made her feel like it was Thanksgiving. She spooned mashed potatoes onto her plate, then pot roast, mac and cheese, a roll with honey butter, a piece of roast chicken with gravy slipping over the edge, and some vegetables.
They sat down at the table. Reese took one bite, then another, trying a bit of everything. The food was good. Warm, rich, comforting in a way she wanted to let herself feel.
But her mind went back to the report Axel had moved to the coffee table.Reasonable force.The phrase was neat and official, and nothing like the memory in her head. The skillet in her hands. The swing. The sound. Wade falling. Blood spreading across the floor.
Reese swallowed carefully. She didn’t grieve Wade. She couldn’t feel anything for him, and she wasn’t going to pretend he deserved her guilt.
But she had killed him. The report called it reasonable. Reese knew it was true, but she still didn’t know what to do with the fact that she’d killed the father of the baby inside her.
They ate for a few minutes while the record played. Reese cut a piece of chicken and dragged it through the sage gravy. She lifted the fork, took a bite, and stared off into the distance. Axel sat across from her, watching her with a concerned look on his face.
“Are you still thinking about the report?” he asked.
Her first instinct was to say no. No, she was fine. No, it didn’t matter. No, there was nothing to talk about. But she was tired of surviving by running away from everything that scared her.
“Yes,” she said.
Axel waited while Reese pushed her mac and cheese around on her plate.
“I know the report says it was self-defense. I know he would have killed you if someone hadn’t acted.” She looked up at him. “But I’m still the one who killed him.”
Axel stayed quiet for a moment, looking at her, a concerned expression on his face.
“You saved my life,” he said. “Wade kidnapped you. He held a gun to your head. He shot me.” Axel’s voice stayed even. “And before any of that, he told you he’d kill you if you ever tried to leave him again.”
“I know.” Reese pushed a carrot to the edge of her plate with her fork. “But that doesn’t change what I’ve done. It’s still there inside me, and I have to live with it now.”
The record kept turning. Piano moved softly through the room. Axel reached across the table and took her hand in his. His thumb caressed her knuckles, and she kept her eyes on their hands.
“I’m relieved he’s dead.” The words sat between them. “I’m relieved I don’t have to wonder where he is anymore. I’m relieved he can’t find me again. I’m relieved he’ll never touch me or threaten my baby.” Her throat tightened. “And that scares me more than feeling guilty.”
Axel didn’t let go of her hand. “Relief isn’t cruelty,” he said.
