I knew what Oscar was doing. He was trying. He was doing what he thought was right, what would make me happy. This wasn't the first time he resorted to something like this, but history told me it wouldn't last. Things needed to change this time, but nothing about this told me they would.
Returning the DVD case to its position by the flowers, I took a breath to make sure I didn't give away any of the happiness I felt to him. He needed to do more to earn it.
"Your dinner is served," he said, carrying two plates to the kitchen table and setting them down.
On the plates were fish sticks, rice, and Pillsbury biscuits. I laughed, unable to contain myself.
"That's what we made when you came over that first time," I said.
He grinned, happy with himself. "Go ahead, try it."
I scooped some rice onto my fork and ate. The rice was buttery, rich and savory at the same time.
"Did you buy something different?" I asked, looking over at the counter for the box mix he used.
"No, it's the same brand we always buy, but I used your secret ingredient." He grinned again before dipping a fish stick into ketchup.
For a moment I didn't know what he meant, but as his grinning continued I put two and two together. Love. Oscar wasn't the type to tell me he loved me, but he was making it clear by his actions that he did.
"You remembered the biscuits," I said.
"I remembered you burned the biscuits."
"I did not burn the biscuits."
"Ruby. The smoke alarm went off. We ate them anyway and told each other they were fine." He was smiling at his plate, cutting a fish stick like it was a filet. "Worst dinner I ever had. I asked you out again the next day."
I laughed, and it caught me off guard, how easy it was. For a minute it was just the two of us at a table with bad food and a candle, and I let it be that. I didn't guard it or measure it or wait for it to turn. I just ate my dinner across from my husband and let myself have the minute.
"What did you do today?" he asked.
"Just went for a drive. I ended up down the shore."
"It was a nice day for it."
I nodded. "How about you? Did you go into the office?"
"I did." He set his fork down and his face grew serious. "Dustin is sleeping at the office. He said Nicole kicked him out about a month ago."
"Oh, wow. I guess I'm not surprised though," I said thinking about what Nicole said the other night.
"Listen, Ruby, I know things aren't perfect between us, but I don't want them ever to get as bad as they are between Dustin and Nicole. That's just not us, okay? I know I don't alwaysexpress my emotions and sometimes I can be a jerk. But even if I act like I don't care, you know that I do." His eyes were locked onto mine. "I'm sorry things have been as bad as you're saying."
As you're saying. Not as bad as they've been. As bad as I was saying, like the trouble was in the telling of it. I don't think he even heard himself do it. He was looking right at me, and he meant every word, and he still found a way to set the thing an arm's length from himself.
I almost pointed it out. The old reflex, halfway up my throat. Then I looked at his face, hopeful and a little scared and so sure this was the fix, and I let it go.
I didn't respond. It was a start, but that was all it was. I looked back at my plate and continued eating.
After dinner we moved to the family room and put on the movie. We settled into the couch, sitting in our usual seats, next to each other. About fifteen minutes into the movie Oscar moved his hand to mine.
We held hands for the rest of the movie.
Chapter 10
Oscar
Itook a few days off so Ruby and I could spend some quality time together. We went to her favorite museum, The Met in New York, we went down the shore to Point Pleasant where we shared waffles and ice cream, and we had just gotten back from Longwood Gardens outside of Philadelphia. It had been a long time since we had any time just the two of us like that.
