I need you to stop avoiding my question. You look like shit and you were staring at your phone like you’d locked one of your precious hats inside it. What’s going on?
I blew out a breath, shaking my head. Ginny had always been able to see right through me, through all of us. She was so perceptive. So in tune.
Is this about Emily?
I smirked. “You remember her?”
The only girl I’ve ever seen you alone with when I call? Obviously, I remember her. And I don’t believe for one second that she’s just your friend.
“She was far from just a friend,” I admitted on a long breath.
Was?
I nodded.
You idiot. What did you do?
I chuckled. “Of course, you know it was me who fucked up.”
Ginny was still weak, but she held up her hand, waving it in a way that told me she was getting impatient and that I’d better start talking.
It was painful, tearing open that fresh wound when it’d still yet to heal. But I did it for my sister, sparing no details, save for the ones I knew she definitely would not want to hear. I told her how Emily and I met, how we’d become friends, how we’d had an undeniable connection from the start. Ginny winced when I told her about Emily’s injury, about how we’d become closer after that, and how I’d thrown caution to the wind, fraternizing with her when I knew it was against my contract.
By the time I got to the part about the podcast clip going viral and our subsequent punishment, I was running on steam, unable to look my sister in the eye. I stared at my shoes when I told her about how Emily came here, about what happened when she did.
When I ran out of words, a heavy silence fell between us, just the soft hum and beeps of machines filling the quiet.
So she came to be with you and you sent her away?
I nodded.
Wow. You really are an idiot.
I tried to smile, but it fell flat, my heart sinking into the pit of my gut. “I did what I had to do. Trust me, it killed me, but… there’s no other choice.”
I’m sorry, big brother, but if you truly believe that, then I think you need to be checked for CTE. More than just a few brain cells damaged in that noggin of yours.
“All right, all right, I get it. You think I’m dumb.” I grabbed the back of my neck. “Can we maybe lay off on the razzing for a bit? I could use some understanding from my sister.”
Which I normally would be happy to provide, but in this case, I do not understand.
I frowned at her. “Ginny… I can’t risk my position with the team. No matter how much I love her.”
The words tumbled out of me, and Ginny’s eyes widened just a fraction.
You love her?
My throat was thick when I nodded. “I do. God, I love her so much…” My heart squeezed painfully. “But I love you, too. And Mom and Dad. And maybe one day things will be easier for me and Emily.”If she’ll wait, I thought, but didn’t say out loud. “But right now, it’s just…”
Do not say impossible.
“But it is.”
Ginny sighed, her eyes tracking up to the ceiling before she pinned me with a gaze that looked almost… annoyed?
You took the wrong lesson from all of this.
“Gin—”
