“I’m not an addict and I’m not broke,” I said. “Not exactly, anyway. I have money. I just… need to hold onto it. I don’t wantto blow my wad on a new car when I have other, more important things to care for.”
“Like what?”
“My family.”
Emily was quiet then. Her brows pinched a little, mouth opening like she wanted to ask more but then thought better of it. It was like she knew that I’d shared what I was comfortable with, that we were at the end of my part of the deal.
“That’s really sweet.”
I nodded, my lips in a tight smile. “My turn.”
“No, I’m not wearing panties.”
I rolled my eyes so hard my eyelids fluttered, and Emily laughed, the sound light and sweet and airy. I wanted to bottle it up and play it on repeat.
And somewhere between the way she’d softened just now and the way she always snapped right back to teasing, it clicked — the sarcasm, the wit, the constant deflection. It wasn’t just who she was. It was how she protected herself.
I wondered why that defense mechanism was there.
I wondered what it would take to get past it.
“What you said to Zara earlier…” I started. “It seemed personal.”
“That’s not a question.”
“Do you really feel like you don’t fit in?”
She swallowed, but to her credit, her eyes never left mine.
“I know I don’t,” she said. “But I’ve also learned that’s not a bad thing. It may land me in some trouble sometimes but… I don’t mind it. I want to stand out. I’m loud. I say what I mean. I like living on the edge.” She shrugged. “Safe is boring. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that I don’t want to live a boring life.”
I couldn’t help it, though I tried. I bit back a smile but it broke through anyway, and a laugh barreled out of me.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said, shaking my head. “It’s just… we could not be more opposite if we tried.”
“You are pretty boring.”
“I prefer it that way. You said safe is boring, but I say boring is safe.”
Emily watched me for a long moment, her eyes flitting up to the screen above the door that had her stop coming up next.
“I’ll go car shopping with you.”
I shook my head. “That’s not—”
“A suggestion, I know. It’s fact. I’m going. Give me your phone.”
She stuck her hand out, wiggling her fingers when I sat there dumbfounded. For reasons unbeknownst to me, I dug out my cell and handed it to her, watching as she typed her number in, texted herself, and then tossed the device back to me.
She stood then, grabbing her bag and heaving it over her shoulder. I resisted the urge to get off at her stop just to carry the ridiculously heavy thing so she didn’t have to. “Let me know the day and time.”
“We’re not supposed to be fraternizing.”
“Then I guess we better keep it to ourselves,Boss.”
She winked, and then bent down to plant a kiss on my cheek before she bounded off the train, leaving me no chance to argue.
