My phone buzzed again, and I looked at the text through blurry eyes.
Braden:Please, let me sit with you in this.
But how could I, when we both knew what was at stake if I said yes?
Braden
Three excruciating days passed in a numb state of going through the motions.
I showed up to the stadium on Monday for film review and meetings. I took my Tuesday off — andactuallygave myself an off day, spending most of it on the phone with my family. Ginny was a nice distraction for a while. She told me about her games and the latest book she’d read for book club —A Snake Falls to Earth. She asked me about football. I promised I’d visit soon and meant it. Mom asked if I was all right and I assured her I was fine.
I wasn’t.
Wednesday brought a welcome reprieve with practice. At least I was on the fielddoing something. Getting into my body and out of my brain for a while helped — however marginally.
But on the whole, three days felt like three years, because Emily wasn’t answering my texts.
And she didn’t want to see me.
It was smart of her. It was smart forbothof us. I should be thanking her for being the stronger one, for not entertaining my requests to come see her when it was a stupid idea.
Instead, I was sick with worry and a desire to run to her apartment and say fuck it all.
That sickness must have been apparent, too, as I stared at my phone in my hands and willed a text to come through while hanging out at Kyle’s house.
“Do we know if the plan is still to do Christmas in the mountains again?” Madelyn asked. She was pacing the living room with Raven, who was presently screaming even though she’d been fed and had her diaper changed.
I naively thought that was all a baby needed to be content. I was very wrong.
“Oh, I’m not sure,” Kyle answered. He and Sebastian were locked into a video game.
“If that’s the plan, we probably need to figure out dates that work with everyone’s game schedules and book a place,” she remarked, running a finger lightly over Raven’s forehead and down her nose. Like magic, Raven’s cries stopped altogether before turning into soft coos.
“I liked that last year,” Sebastian said. “I wanna go again.”
“Braden?”
I blinked at the mention of my name, reluctantly lifting my gaze from my phone to find Madelyn waiting for a response.
“Oh, yeah. I loved it, too. We should definitely go.”
“I meant have you heard anything from the rest of the group? Have the guys discussed it?”
“Oh, uh…” I looked to Kyle for help, but he was too busy high-fiving Sebastian after they completed a mission. “No?”
She sighed, but it was with a smile and a shake of her head. Raven was already starting to doze in her arms. “Boys. Nothing would get done if it was up to you.”
“Hey, I resent that,” Kyle said, ruffling Sebastian’s hair as he hopped up from the floor and swooped Madelyn into his arms. “I think I do quite a bit around here.”
“Annoy me most of all,” Madelyn shot back, but her smile betrayed her.
Kyle tongued his cheek. “Oh, is that so?” He dug his fingers into her ribs, making her laugh and wriggle away.
“Stop it! If you disrupt the nap Raven is about to slide into, I’ll swap your shaving cream for hair removal foam.”
“You’d miss my scruff,” he remarked, smoothing a hand over his jaw.
“And you’ll miss your hands, because I’ll cut them off if you wake this baby by tickling me.”
