“I should be,” he said, voice low. “But if anything, I’m surer than I was before.”
“So… we’re in this?”
“I’m in if you are.”
A smile split my face. “Our little secret.”
I held out my pinky, doing a little dance as Braden rolled his eyes and hooked his little finger around mine.
I felt my heart aching in protest when we hooked, like it knew something I didn’t.
Like it was already reaching for something I hadn’t agreed to give.
I swallowed it down, tucking it somewhere deep and quiet.
This was simple, our little arrangement. Fun and carefree and without expectation.
It had to be.
Or risking our jobs would be the least of our worries.
Braden
I should have dressed up as a clown for Halloween.
It would have fit my new personality perfectly, the way I was fooling myself into thinking I would get away with sneaking around with Emily, that there would never be any consequences for our actions.
But fuck, I wanted to play that part.
Iwantedto be naïve, to play pretend, to act like it was all fun and games.
And so, I did.
Two weeks passed with me wrapped up in Emily, October fading day by day as I lost myself in her anytime I had the chance. If I wasn’t at practice, traveling, or playing a game — I was finding a way to get to her.
The list was just a bonus. Sure, I liked ticking the boxes — fucking her in front of my window with the lights off, knowing anyone could walk by and see us if they looked close enough; bending her over her kitchen table when her roommate wasn’t home; letting her use her blindfold and handcuffs on me whilewe both tried not to laugh at the awkwardness of me having no arms to use, and her only having one.
But that was just the icing on the cake.
What I loved more were the small moments with Emily, the nights where she was too tired to go home and fell asleep in my bed, or the days at the stadium when we tried and failed to ignore each other, when she’d smile at me and I’d reach out to touch her, just barely, as I passed by.
It was hearing more about her time before she lived in Seattle, about traveling abroad and dipping her toes in the strangest jobs imaginable as she tried to find her way. It was cooking for her and hearing the pornographic moans she made when she took the first bite.
It was seeing her sleepy and sated after we fucked and she smoked a joint, the way she carried herself like she didn’t have a worry in the world.
It was so opposite of me, how tightly I was wound, how careful I always was. Spending time with her was like being thrown inside an action thriller novel or movie — I felt like I was living another life, like I was playing a role I didn’t realize I’d been cast in.
I loved it.
It was easy to lose myself in her. The season changed, fall clutching Seattle in a tight embrace, and I found myself stretched between two lives. When I was working, I was locked in and focused, having some of the best performances of my career. And when I wasn’t working, I was finding a new spark for life with a woman who intrigued me even more the more I got to know her.
“We gonna see another monster game from you tomorrow?” Gino asked, tossing his towel over his shoulder as he dropped onto the bench across from me. After a light day, we wereall wrapping up, ready to get some good rest before the game tomorrow.
I looked up from where I was pulling on my socks. “You trying to gas me up or jinx me?”
“Neither. Just trying to figure out who the hell you are lately.” Gino held his hands up. “It’s a good kind of inquisition, I swear.”
Kyle snorted from where he was digging through his bag. “He’s been possessed. That’s my theory.”
