The woman held up a thumb.
I bit my lip against a laugh, using all my strength to hold my breath as the woman climbed into the truck. I wasn’t sure if she said anything to the guy with her or not because they instantly started to back out, and as soon as they were in drive and pulling away from us, I took my first breath.
A laugh fizzled out of Emily, her body going from rigid to a bag of flesh and bones as she melted into me. She laughed quietly at first before those laughs were racking her whole body, and then she peeled off her mask, revealing those beautiful brown eyes wet with tears from laughing so hard.
She was a beautiful mess — mascara smudged, lips nude, skin flushed.
The sight of it struck me like a hammer to the chest.
“Happy Halloween,” she said.
And then she ripped my mask off and kissed me.
Emily
“I felt like a fraud,” I admitted with a sigh, referencing the podcast Claire had arranged for me to be a guest on. I stacked a piece of cheese and salami onto a cracker before taking a nibble. Even though I had slight use of my right arm and hand now, it was still a difficult task to manage with mostly my non-dominant one. “They should have asked someone else to do it after…”
I didn’t finish the sentence, just gestured with a wide wave of my hand once I’d popped the rest of the cracker into my mouth.
The truth was, I’d walked into that studio determined to prove I still belonged. I had my chin up, shoulders back, smile locked in place like it was game day. And I’d performed.
The hosts had been warm. They’d laughed at all the right moments, nodded along like everything I said mattered. And for a second, sitting there under the bright lights with a large mic in front of me, I’d almost believed it, too.
Like I was still her. Still that girl they’d picked.
But every question about the team, about performing, about being on the field had twisted something sharp in my chest. I’danswered anyway. Smiled anyway. Played the part like I always did.
And maybe that was the problem.
I played the part, but I didn’t quite believe it myself.
“Don’t say that,” Darcy pleaded, her big doe eyes all soft and hurt. “You’re just as much a member of this squad as you were that last day of auditions when they called your name.”
“More so,” Marcus chimed in. “And you haven’t missed a single practice or game or community event — even with your arm in a cast.”
I shrugged, swiping my glass of wine off the table and taking a sip. What Ireallywanted was an edible, but I was trying to lay off cannabis for the rest of the season. Even though it was legal in Washington, I’d signed a contract that said I wouldn’t partake while I was a part of the Seahawks organization.
And now that I breaking one rule, I figured it was probably best not to add to it.
Then again, I likelywouldhave — if this was the me before I’d met Braden. I’d smoked a few times since we started hooking up. But now, my brain was in overdrive, pestering me to be careful.
That sweet, caring, rule-following hunk was rubbing off on me.
“I don’t know. I just… I answered every question honestly and proudly. I smiled and laughed and played it off. But it felt a little disingenuous to be representing the team when I’m not even actively participating.”
It was the perfect night to stay in and hang with Darcy and Marcus — cold and rainy and we all needed a break. The Seahawks were playing in Los Angeles, and none of us had been asked to attend this game. It also meant Braden and whoever Marcus was fooling around with were out of town.
And so, we made the most of our free night. Marcus whipped up the most magical charcuterie board spread that was straight out of a Pinterest board dream, and Darcy splurged on two fancy bottles of wine. I, being useless at the present moment, just brought the vibes.
Except I was doing a shit job at that currently with my Debbie Downer mood.
“I will say, one good thing about the podcast is that it got me a free ride to next week’s away game. Apparently, the hosts were glowing in their post-recording check-in with Claire, so now she’s sending me for media in Minneapolis.”
“I’m sure you were amazing,” Darcy said. “Can you tell us anything about the pod? Anything they asked about?”
“It was a lot of the usual stuff — what’s it like to be around the players all the time, how often do we practice, how do they decide who’s in the calendar. But there were some good questions, too — like how we train and take care of our bodies, what it means for women empowerment.” I gave Marcus a pointed look. “Don’t worry, I talked about how important men in cheer are, too.”
“My girl,” he said with a nod of approval as he tipped a handful of cashews in his mouth.
