Page 25 of Dragons Can't Date

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Sam laughed, but it came out slightly panicked.

“Right. So. Someone’s either playing an extremely elaborate prank, or I’m being courted by a dragon who doesn’t realize I can’t just deposit gold bullion at my bank without raising every red flag the Financial Conduct Authority has.”

He set the bar down carefully, half-expecting it to vanish like a hallucination, but it didn’t. It sat there on his kitchen table, next to a mug with his name on it and a cashmere jumper he couldn’t afford, gleaming in the light streaming through his window.

“Okay.” Sam pressed his palms flat against the table. “Okay. This is...I need to...”

What? Call the police? And what would he say? “Someone’s leaving me expensive presents, and I’d like them to stop?” Except Sam wasn’t sure he wanted them to stop, which was its own kind of concerning.

Because whoever was doing this knew where he lived. They knew his schedule well enough to deliver things while he worked, knew his size, his interests, and his name. But Sam had no idea who they were.

He picked up his phone, pulled up his conversation with Emma, then stopped. If he told her about the gold, she’d lose her mind. She’d probably call the police herself. Or demand Sam stake out his porch. Or worse - she’d insist that single bar proved it was true love, destiny, or fate, because she was as much of a romantic as he was.

Sam set his phone down and picked up the gold bar again. It felt very real,but at the same time, it felt impossible.

“What am I supposed to do with this?”

/~/~/~/~/

I do hope Pat can help.Sam pushed through the door of Pat’s Pub at half-six, a canvas backpack slung over his shoulder.

The pub hummed with its usual weekend crowd - locals nursing pints, the smell of Cherry’s locally famous chicken wings drifting from the kitchen. Pat looked up from behind the bar, took one look at Sam’s face, and jerked his chin toward the back corner booth.

“You look like you need something stronger than coffee.”

“I need advice.” Sam slid into the booth. “Weird advice.”

Pat ambled over, wiping his hands on a bar towel. “How weird?”

Sam pulled the wooden box from his backpack and set it on the table. Thenthe cashmere jumper, still in its tissue paper.

Pat opened the box and froze. “Where’d you get this?”

“My doorstep.” Sam’s voice came out flat. “Monday was coffee beans. Tuesday, books. Wednesday, chocolate. Thursday, a mug. Friday, the jumper. Today, that.”

Pat picked up the gold bar, turned it over, and squinted at the markings. His expression shifted through several stages - confusion, disbelief, and something that looked almost like alarm.

“Sam.” He set the bar down carefully. “Son. These are real, very real.”

“I was afraid you’d say that.”

“I mean it.” Pat tapped the purity stamp. “This isn’t costume jewelry or chocolate wrapped in foil. This is actual gold bullion with the proper hallmarks, serial number, and the works.” He turned to the jumper, checked the label, and made a low whistle. “And this is Johnstons ofElgin. Three hundred dollars if it’s a cent.”

Sam’s stomach dropped. “Three hundred…”

“The gold bar?” Pat’s voice dropped. “Twenty thousand dollars. Maybe more, depending on the market.”

Sam’s hands went numb around the wooden box. Twenty thousand dollars? For him? Someone had looked at ordinary Sam Brown - the guy who burned pasta and wrote stories nobody would read - and thought he was worthtwenty thousand dollars.

The practical part of his brain screamed scam, money laundering, or some elaborate con. But underneath that, quieter and more dangerous, was the voice that sounded like his mother -You deserve good things, love. Stop waiting for permission to accept them.

She’d been wrong, though. Sam had proved that in the two years since she’d died, watching his small lifestay small, watching potential dates lose interest, watching himself fade into the comfortable background of other people’s stories. He didn’t deserve any of what he’d been given, which meant someone had made a terrible, and very expensive mistake.

The pub noise faded to a distant buzz. Sam stared at the items on the table - innocent-looking things that apparently cost more than his car. More than several of his cars, if he had more than one.

“I don’t understand,” Sam whispered. “Who leaves gold bars on someone’s doorstep?”

“Someone who’s got money to burn.” Pat leaned back, arms crossed. “Or someone who doesn’t know what money means anymore.” He paused. “You report this to anyone?”