“I’m still fairly new in town, and other than my yoga studio people, you and Franky are the only others I know. And Franky is a good listener.”
“They say that about bartenders too.” Harper hadn’t meant that to sound flirty but knew she’d failed. And coming so quickly on the heels of telling Charlie that she was going to owe her a drink for a change? She wanted to roll her eyes at herself butdidn’t want Charlie to think she was rolling them at her. But what the hell was she thinking flirting like that at all?
Thankfully, Charlie just chuckled. “That may be the case, but you’re starting to get busier. You aren’t going to be able to keep talking to just me for much longer. I think your other two employees are getting tired of you not pulling your weight.”
“Luckily, my employees know who signs their paychecks, so…” She shrugged one shoulder. “And I normally spend Sunday evenings doing admin since it’s generally slower. They aren’t used to me even still being back here.”
“Ah, so not a mutiny that you’re prompting, just procrastinating about admin work while you talk to me?”
Harper opened and closed her mouth a few times. “Not procrastinating. Just…I don’t know. But it would be a good idea if I get to it. Payroll isn’t going to do itself, you know? But you are more than welcome to stop in to see Franky. Or take her to your place. Can I get you another drink before I head to the back? You can take it upstairs. Just bring the glass back tomorrow.” Why was she making things weird? What was wrong with her, and why couldn’t she get past it?
She wanted to be Charlie’s friend. That was it. Last night, she’d been tired, and her body had been reacting in ways she wasn’t comfortable with, but there was no excuse for weirdness today. It had to be Charlie’s sweetness at wanting to spend more time with Franky. That had melted her insides a little last night and apparently still was today.
Charlie looked into her glass and the two sips left. “Yeah, another to take upstairs would be great. I need to go make dinner. Does Franky need anything? A walk? Dinner?”
“No, she’s good, but thank you for checking in on her and hanging out. I know she gets lonely in the evening sometimes. Even when the weather isn’t bad.”
“I guess we’re doing each other a favor, then,” Charlie saidwhen Harper put her drink in front of her. “What do I owe you tonight?”
“On the house, remember?” Harper said. “As partial payment for taking such amazing care of my girl last night and going above and beyond, risking life and limb—or at least your spine—to help keep her calm during the storm. Your money isn’t good here today.”
Charlie shook her head. “You’re silly, but thank you. No payment necessary, but I appreciate the drinks. You really are a master.” As she stood, she said, “Let me know when you’re coming up. I can bring her back over, or feel free to just knock on my door.”
After Charlie left, Harper headed back to her office to work on some of the admin parts of bar ownership—payroll and paying bills were on the agenda that night—but her mind was not focused at all.
Well, itwasfocused. But on Charlie, not work. She walked to her filing cabinet, grabbing the small photo of her and Kelly that she kept up there. She liked having Kelly in the room to watch over her and so she could talk to her if she needed to, but a big picture or having it on her desk felt like too much. She needed to be able to function without being overtaken by grief.
She took the photo to the desk and sank into her chair, staring into Kelly’s eyes, wishing with all her heart that she could talk to her. She touched her face through the glass. “What do you think? I can’t date anyone, can I? I was your soulmate, and you were mine. And the fucking CTA took you from me. No one out there is as perfect a fit for me as you were. It doesn’t matter that I’m a little attracted to her, and I have a hard time not flirting with her. I just miss you still.”
Her throat felt thick, and she swallowed back tears. What had that grief counselor told her? That there was no expiration on grief and no right or wrong way to grieve. Something like that.Andrew wanted her to move on, but she couldn’t. She didn’t think she’d ever be ready.
So she had to keep Charlie in the friend zone. It was where she belonged. Despite Harper’s incessant need to flirt with her while she was working. She reminded herself that she flirted with everyone at the bar. It was what good bartenders did. But that little voice in her head kept reminding her that she didn’t flirt with Charlie the way she flirted with everyone. She flirted with her as though she was interested, but Charlie had to be off-limits. Anything serious was off-limits.
And that was that.
Chapter Ten
The morning of the community yoga class, Charlie was a nervous wreck. A total and completely uncharacteristic wreck. It seemed ridiculous. She’d made hundreds of million-dollar deals in her career and even a handful of billion-dollar deals. Yet the thought of teaching a yoga class—even teaching one-sixth of the yoga class—felt incredibly daunting.
She loved yoga and was finding that all the extra classes she had to take as a part of the curriculum were really having a positive effect on both her physical and mental health. She wanted to be able to share that appreciation with other people, yet the thought of doing something so unlike anything she’d ever done in her life was fucking terrifying.
She was going to do it no matter what, but she wanted to begoodat it. Not just meh, which was what she was afraid of. Some of her classmates were afraid they would forget the sequence they were teaching and completely freeze up, but that wasn’t what she feared. She feared mediocrity.
So she was sitting at the small table on the little landing, having a cup of tea and trying to meditate on being a fantastic teacher for her portion of the class and visualizing every step of it when Harper’s door opened, and the scrambling of Franky’s nails on the boards made her eyes pop open. “Hey, girl,” she said as she leaned over to scratch her neck.
“You looked pretty serious over there,” Harper said.
“Just visualizing how class is going to go this afternoon to make sure I nail it.” Her voice sounded a lot more confident thanshe felt, but that was from a lifetime of training. As the only woman on her trading floor when she’d first started working a couple of decades ago, following the old adage, “fake it till you make it” was how she’d made it. She played a lot tougher and more confident than she was until she actuallywasboth of those things.
“Nice. So you’re ready for the big day?”
“I am. I think. No, scratch that. I am.” She smiled at Harper to reinforce her corrected self-talk. “You’re still planning to come, right?” Charlie finally looked up from Franky. Harper was dressed more casually than normal in a pair of gray gym shorts, an orange T-shirt with UVA School of Law on the front, and brown leather flip-flops. She was apparently one of those people who looked good in every damn thing they threw on.
“Yes, I’m still coming. Even though Iam notconvinced at all that I’m going to enjoy it. Do you want to walk over there together, and maybe grab ice cream to celebrate your victory afterward?” Harper scratched her neck and didn’t make eye contact, which was strange.
“I have to be there an hour and a half early, as we’re going to do a little practice run and go through a few last-minute things before class. But I’d definitely be down for ice cream afterward if you’re still up for it. And we can walk back together?” She wasn’t sure her tone made the walking back part a question. It was the only thing that made sense, after all.
“Yeah, sure, that’d be great.”
