I knew it was what they did. Starting rumors, nitpicking every little thing from a frown in a picture to the double chin I had while eating a hot dog at the biggest game of the year. There wasn’t a drop of truth to it.
But…
HowcouldLuca, with his perfect washboard abs and all those rippling muscles, want me, his flabby, drab wife?
He did, though. There was no denying that. He made love to me every chance he got. It was me. I didn’t feel sexy anymore. I’d let the media get in my head and obliterate my self-confidence. My mental health was starting to suffer because of it. And if I didn’t do something soon, it would affect my marriage.
I just didn’t know how to talk about it.
My mental health struggles in the past had taken me to a dark place. And while I wasn’t there yet, I could feel the shadows closing in around me.
Apparently Luca had noticed something was off, though. There would be no hiding now.
Violet
Taking several deep breaths,I went to find Luca. But as I started to take a step away from the door, the knob turned. Startled, I found Jagger grinning down at me when it swung open.
Thankful for the reprieve, I threw my arms around his middle. “Hi.” We saw each other multiple times a week, sometimes a day, but it never felt like enough. I missed him and Shaw so much.
He hugged me back, and I felt him kiss the top of my head. “Hey, Vi.” Pulling back enough to see my face, he winked down at me. “Are you still cold, sweetheart? You must have caught a chill while we were in New York.”
Confused, I frowned. “Cold?”
“That’s what Luca and I figured since you’ve been living in hoodies lately,” he explained, keeping his arm around me, while, behind me, I heard Luca coming down the stairs.
“Yeah.” I accepted the excuse, fighting a moan when his fingers teased over my hip. “Can’t seem to get warm enough.”
Looking up, I saw my husband carrying two suitcases and bit back a groan for an entirely different reason. Whatever theplans were, they apparently involved travel. Which meant less time having to talk out my feelings to the three people I loved the most. But it also meant the chance of more people and less privacy. I didn’t want anyone hearing what any of us had to say.
It was a lose-lose, no matter how I looked at it.
But the bright side was if Jagger was there, then Shaw would be too. I knew I could get through this with my two dearest friends to hold my hands. Not that I needed them to. Luca would never let me fall. If I simply told him.
We were strong. Our marriage was amazing.
I was the weak one.
It was me who was the problem.
Actually telling him about everything I was feeling was going to be hard.
“Ready?” Jagger asked Luca. “Shaw is waiting. I haven’t told her where we’re going yet, but she is practically vibrating with excitement.”
“All set.” He handed off one of the bags to our friend before dropping a kiss on my lips. “Baby, I packed for both of us. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”
“Okay,” I murmured, fixing a smile on my face. “Sounds exciting. Is what I’m wearing okay?”
His eyes raked over me, and I knew from the shade of brown that he liked what he saw. Warmth settled low in my belly, my entire body seeming to come alive.
But then I exhaled and felt how uncomfortable my sweats were all over again. It was as if I fizzled out. How could anyone find me attractive with all my jiggles? My ass was so big, I was surprised the seams could contain me. My boobs were all muffin-topped out of my bra. And all those rolls. Gross.
Confusion furrowed Luca’s brow, and I sensed Jagger tensing beside me. “Baby?”
I grabbed the door, swinging it wider, making sure my smile was in place. “Are we driving or flying?”
Jagger and Luca shared a look before Jagger put his hand on the small of my back, guiding me out to his SUV. “We’re taking your plane. No need for the bodyguard since it’s going to be a private weekend.”
“Great.” I nodded to myself, leaning into his touch for just a moment to soak up a little of the strength I knew he was ready to offer.
