“I think everyone has their reasons for doing things," she replies, her lips forming a thin line. “My history with my ex isn’t exactly rose colored either,” she explains. “He wasn’t a very good person to me or to Maddox and it took a long time for me to figure out how to separate from him.” She pauses, seemingly conflicted about her next words. “We lived in a shelter for a while and with my mom after we broke up. It took us some time to get on our feet,” she looks down at her hands.
“I’m sorry,” I say delicately. “That must have been very hard for both of you.”
“It was.”
She brings her gaze to mine but looks past me, through me, not at me. Almost like it’s too painful to recount this part of herlife and also make space for someone else’s reaction to it. “But we’re in a much better place now.” Her eyes are watery and she swipes a finger under one of them, brushing away a tear. “Oh god, look at me blubbering the first chance I get to socialize with an actual adult. I didn’t mean to dump all my drama on you,” she shifts uncomfortably in her seat. And I know right away that Emma and I will be fast friends.
“You didn’t. I wanted to know and I totally dumped my drama on you first,” I comment and then we both break into laughter.
We spend so much time chatting and learning about each other that we don’t realize Akio and Maddox had slipped off into his room. When we open Akio's bedroom door, my eyes go wide. There is crimson lipstick streaking the walls and smeared across his bedspread. Maddox is brandishing the tube of red lipstick like a weapon, preparing to strike again, while Akio shoves his hands into the mess on the comforter. I’m horrified but I can’t help a laugh that bubbles up my throat and escapes my lips. When Emma steps in next to me, I think she is going to have a coronary. Her eyes widen as she slaps a hand over her mouth.
“Oh my god. Kendall, I'm so sorry.” She squats down in front of Maddox and takes the lipstick from him. “Did you use this to write on the walls?” she asks in a firm but gentle voice. He nods.
I turn to Akio with my arms folded. “Did you both do this?” Tears start brimming in his eyes but he eventually responds, “Yes.”
“We’ll help you clean this up. I’m so sorry. He can be a handful sometimes,” she admits, her voice tinged with embarrassment.
“It’s okay. Honestly, we weren’t really watching them that well,” I say trying to ease her guilt.
“Right, but you have a pretty well behaved child. I have an outdoor pup who sometimes acts like the Tasmanian devil.This has Maddox written all over it. I feel terrible,” she replies, blowing out a long breath.
After we’ve attempted to clean up the mess and I throw his bedding in the washer, we give the boys asupervisedsnack. Maddox hops around from the couch to the floor to his mom’s lap while he munches on fruit. He moves so quickly and frequently I'm surprised he doesn’t choke. Akio pops a few chips in his mouth and hums in contentment to himself on the chair next to me. They’re quite different but they seem to get along, and so do Emma and I, which is great.
I just hope we can move past the great lipstick debacle of 2020.
Chapter 12
Kai
“Hello?”shecroaksgroggily.
“Hey, did I wake you?” I wonder as I pace frantically around my hotel room.
“No, I’m just watching reruns of Gilmore girls, trying to fall asleep. Why, what’s up?”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I need to say something, ask you something before I lose the nerve.” I clench my fist together and unclench it, clench and unclench.
“Okay.”
“Did I conjure up the five years we were together and our entire childhood before that? Did I imagine it? Every kiss, every touch, every laugh. Every time we were together and it felt like it meant something, everything. Every goddamn moment with you—"
“Kai, no,” she says defensively, her tone sharp but certain.
I just need to dislodge some of this pain from my chest, exorcise some demons and maybe then I’ll feel like I can breathe again, like I’ve regained some solid ground.
“Kendall, please let me get this out. Did I romanticize things? Did spending the rest of our lives together not mean the same thing to me that it did to you? Was I an idiot? What am I missing here? Because I’m really starting to feel like I’m insane. Either that or you didn’t love me as much as I thought you did.”
I sound angry and desperate. I’m clawing for answers but I don’t fucking care. This is years of pent up frustration, anger, and resentment and this conversation is a long time coming; three years too late.
“Kai, I know you don’t believe me but I loved you more than you could ever imagine.”Lovedas in past tense but I would worry about that later.
“Just not enough to stay, right?” I allege, resting my forehead against the wall.
“What am I supposed to say to that?” she asks but doesn’t sound angry.
“You could start with the truth,” I answer, venom in my tone.
“I was scared, Kai—“
