“It’s okay, Kai. I’m sorry I made you tell me. I knew something was bothering you. We don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don’t want to.”
“That’s it? You’re just going to drop it, captain of the debate team?”
“Yeah, I’m just going to drop it…fornow.” For now is the best I’m going to get from her.
“I should probably tell you the rest.”
“What do you mean the rest? What are you talking about?”
I wring my hands together. “I got into a fight at camp too—” I start to explain.
“Excuse me, what? Why didn’t you lead with that, Kai? Who are you and what did you do with my gentle giant? Tell me everything. Do not leave out any details,” she demands eagerly.
“The guys all know me and you are close. That we live on the same street, we hang out all the time. One night, Aiden snuck in some alcohol and we all got pretty drunk. I didn’t want to but they kind of forced us. They started asking if we were together and why we hung out all the time if we weren’t fucking. I kept saying we were just best friends. But Aiden wouldn’t leave it alone. Then he said, ‘She’s smoking hot. If you won’t fuck her, I will. Ass like that I doubt she’s a virgin,’ and that’s when I punched him. That’s pretty much it.”
She stares at me, eyes wide like saucers. “Holy shit, Kai. I can’t believe you did that. Aiden’s a douchebag anyways. I’ve always said he could use a swift punch in the face.”
“I know you have.”
“Thanks for protecting my honor,” she quips.
“I wasn’t trying to protect your honor. I just wanted him to stop running his mouth. He was being a disrespectful asshole.”
“I know. Thank you. He’s also wrong. I’ve got a great ass and I’m still a virgin.”
I can feel my cheeks heat up at Kendall’s mention of the word virgin. But I’m not really sure what to say and I know she can sense my hesitation.
“To which you say…so am I. If only to make me feel better,” she continues.
“I don’t have the confidence to talk to girls much less sleep with one,” I admit.
“Bullshit, Kai. We talk all the time,” she challenges.
“That’s different. You’re my best friend. Talking with you is easy. Besides, I don't have to do a lot of the talking with you,” I say jokingly.
“Oh, shut up, Kai! How about we make a pact?”
“What kind of pact?” I ask, intrigued.
“If neither of us have had sex by the end of senior year, we do the deed. With each other.”
“You’re serious?” I press, eyebrows raised and very skeptical of this plan.
“Deadly,” she responds, her warm hazel eyes locked on mine. Ken never backed down from a challenge—that and she was true to her word. Both of those things make me hesitate. But not for long.
“Okay fine,” I hear myself say against my better judgment and shake her hand with a smile.
Little did I know we wouldn’t even make it until the end of the school year. That we would both lose our virginity when she snuck into my room during our senior year ski trip. I had no idea that what we’d do would irrevocably alter my DNA and brain chemistry, giving our relationship legs and claws, definition and depth. It was sweet and fleeting but it also felt infinite, like forever. She gave me the kind of divine salvation and brutal vulnerability that is only ever true of your first love.
Kendall was my first and after that, I knew I wanted her to be my only.
Chapter 30
Kendall
It’snothingandeverything.It’s such a simple thing, really, him making dinner, taking care of us, showing up. I have half a mind to pinch myself and make sure he’s real and not some dream I’m going to wake up from.
Kai is standing over the tiny stove in my kitchen stirring gnocchi or tortellini. Whatever it is, it smells amazing. He’s even wearing myBreaking Badapron that says “Let’s cook” for fuck’s sake, an apron that I have never once put to good use. Until now. He looks good, really good cooking for us in my kitchen. Like he-is-the-only-thing-I-want-for-dessert good. But I shut that part of my brain off, remembering the conversation we had on our date.No sex until we trust each other. God knows when that will be.
