He breathed in and let out a deep sigh as he squeezed her hand.“Then why are you leaving me?”
She opened her mouth and closed it again.A few seconds had elapsed when she relaxed and sat back.In her silence, Rafa had an answer.
He counted to thirty, and then with all the courage he could muster, said, “I love you, Sal.But I need to love myself too, and I can’t stand this.”He still clasped her hand, afraid that if he let go, she’d be gone forever.He took one more deep breath and said, “This is me letting things move as they should.”
Sal’s grip loosened, and she let go of his hand.Tears started spilling down her cheeks; she just sat there looking at him.
Rafa willed himself to look at her, his eyes downcast and tears also filling his eyes until his vision became hazy.“Is this what you truly want?”he asked, voice cracking.He couldn’t bear the image of her tear-drenched face.“Sal…” he said tenderly.“You know what I want.I want you and a life with you.But I can’t, in good conscience, have it by force.”His body acted without him realizing by moving closer and wiping away her tears.
She closed her eyes as she held his hand to her cheek.“I’m sorry for everything,” was all she said.
Rafa kissed her softly.“I’m sorry too,” he replied and rested his forehead on hers.
Their tears, if they could be measured, might’ve filled Manila Bay.Above them, the moon alone watched as a great love parted ways.
SAL
Sal snuck into the room and saw Willow was already fast asleep.She quietly removed her dress and hung it against the dresser, then sat in front of the antique desk.Her feet were sore, and her eyes were swollen from crying all night.She opened the drawer that held her engagement ring and saw her retrieved phone beside it.She held the phone, felt its familiar weight, and plugged it into the charger.When the screen lit up, several notifications appeared.She started scrolling past them until one notification caught her eye: a voice memo from Rafa on the day she lost her phone.It was three minutes long.
She gasped softly in surprise.How did I not see this?
Willow groaned in her sleep just a few feet away, probably in response to her gasp.Afraid she would wake her friend, Sal unplugged her phone and tiptoed out of the room.She clutched her robe with the phone in her hand and sat in the sala on the BnB’s second floor.On the coffee table, the phone sat as she wavered about listening to it; eventually her curiosity compelled her to hear Rafa's three-minute voice note.She hugged her knees, braced herself for what she was about to hear, and pressed the play button.
First, there was a sigh, and then Rafa’s voice came through.“Hello, my love,” he said.“I miss you.I’ve been trying to get ahold of you, but I can’t reach you.Are you all right?Is everything okay?God, I feel so guilty not going there with you.I wish I could just tell my family that I have a life outside of the business, you know?That way I’d be able to go to you without guilt weighing me down.I’ve been moving around from Medina and St.Stephenshire.I reconnected with the librarian in Hearthstone.Her name is Vicky, and I think you’d love her and her cat, Chaplin.”She heard him smile as he mentioned Chaplin.“By the way, don’t worry about Kimmy and Hana.They’re well cared for.I stay over at the cottage every night so they’re not so lonely, and Auden does wellness checks during her break.Speaking of breaks, I’ve been looking for honeymoon escapades for us.You said you always wanted to travel to Central Europe and see Lake Bled in Slovenia, so let’s make it happen.I’ll carve out some vacation time!I’ve also been in touch with the suppliers for our wedding, and I’ve been telling them we’ll get back to them as soon as we can.Michael just sent me back the application forms for the church too.There’s so much I want to tell you, but I’ll hold off until I see you again.I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.Don’t stress yourself too much about Harmon and the art show.Message me as soon as you hear this.I love you.Talk soon.”A beep followed, and then there was silence.
Sal stared at the voice memo for what felt like an eternity.She felt the weight of what she had lost just then and wanted to cry but couldn’t.The tears had all but dried up.Then, she heard the creaking of wood and snapped her head up; Willow, half-awake in her jammies, stood at the entryway of the sala.“Hey,” she yawned.“You okay?”
Just as Sal thought she had no more tears to shed, she bawled her eyes out once more and said, “Willow, it’s over, it’s really over…” She clutched her chest as though she was in excruciating pain.
Willow swiftly sat beside her and held her in a tight embrace.All her friend could do was rub her back and say, “I’m here.I’m here...”
***
The next morning, Sal woke up with puffy eyes.She put on her robe and walked out the door, only to find Harmon seated on the bench outside her room, waiting while reading a book.He had his thick-rimmed reading glasses on as he leafed through a page, unaware she had seen him.
As soon as he noticed her, he closed his book and stood up abruptly.“Are you okay?”he asked as he paced toward her, a sense of urgency in his tone.
“How long have you been waiting here?”she asked, realizing it was late in the morning.“You have an exhibit you need to watch over.”
“It doesn’t matter.I came to see if you were okay.”He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.She wanted to collapse into him, and before she realized it, her body already had.“Harmon…” she pulled him into an embrace.“I ruined everything,” she said, her voice cracking.
His embrace was warm and firm.“I’m sorry, it must have been hard,” he said, running his hand through her dark hair.
“I wish we started under better circumstances,” Sal said as she pulled away and looked up into his eyes.
Harmon shook his head and met her gaze.“Salome Poe, I will take you in whatever circumstance or form,” he said, kissing her forehead.“And I promise, I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do.Just be honest with me.Can you do that?”
Sal closed her eyes and nodded.“Yes,” she said, his presence healing her from the great loss she had experienced just the night before.
“Now, get dressed.I’m inviting everyone for brunch at a nice place I found nearby.It has a beautiful view of Taal Lake.”He winked.
“What do I tell Willow?”she asked.
Harmon grinned.“Tell her Baron will be there too.”
Sal laughed for the first time that morning.He bent over and kissed her softly on the lips.She wrapped her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer, and their kiss deepened.This was what it felt like to surrender, and to have a great love like Harmon Moon.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
