I’ve lied to many people across many centuries. Most of them deserved it. Iris does not.
It’s bad enough that I’ve already lied to her about Kasim. I can’t afford to do it, not any longer. She deserves better. She always did.
I close my hand around the lamp. What would Kasim tell me if he were here?
“Battles can’t be won without sacrifices, Little Fool. And we djinn… We know everything there is to know about sacrifice.”
“Yes, Kasim,” I tell the lamp, “but I really wish I didn’t have to teach Iris everything we know.”
The cold metal doesn’t answer. I lean against the railing, think about Iris, and don’t cry.
12
Anything You Wish
Iris
You’ve really done it this time, Iris Beckett.
I press my forehead against the cool glass of Rakan’s window. Forty floors below, there’s a city I’m not allowed to walk through anymore. The glass doesn’t help. Not much could.
I should have never slept with Rakan for a second time. I know that like I know my own name. But there’s just something about Rakan that’s more dangerous to me than any monster in any alley.
Even now, when I’m in lethal danger, what really bothers me is that he’s gone.
A million different questions rush through my mind. Who could have called him? What solution did he find? What will we be, by the time this is over?
It’s terrible that our relationship even matters to me so much, but it does. Damn him.
The shirt I’m wearing belongs to him. The pants are mine, but I stole the shirt from his wardrobe. It’s as if his absence has turned me into some kind of ridiculous criminal. I hate myself for it, for finding comfort in the scent that’s now so familiar.
Was it really just a few weeks ago that I was throwing him out of The Daily Grind, asking him to discard his magical lotuses? It feels like a lifetime ago.
I need to talk to him. We need to find a real answer to this absurd situation we’re in. Even if there’s a murderer after me, I can’t stay trapped here forever. And as satisfying as it is to lash out at him, that’s not a solution either. We’ll just end up having sex again, because neither of us can help ourselves.
With a sigh, I slide down from the window seat and pad barefoot to the kitchen. The fridge is full of things I haven’t touched. During his absence, Rakan has quietly made sure I have everything I need. But nothing really holds my interest. “He’ll come back eventually, Iris,” I murmur under my breath. “And you need to decide what to tell him. To stand up for yourself, properly.”
I pour myself a glass of water and take a sip. Here in Rakan’s penthouse, even simple water tastes expensive. I miss my small apartment so desperately. But I miss Rakan more.
The sound of a cleared throat startles me out of my thoughts. I jerk and turn toward the door.
There’s a man standing there, dressed in what looks like a staff uniform. He’s holding a massive basket, full of fruit. I’d call them mangoes, maybe, but Rakan would likely never buy something as plebeian as that. Knowing him, it’s something stranger, no doubt imported from one of his monster friends.
“Is everything all right, Miss?” the man asks me. His voice is warm and friendly, and his presence immediately puts me at ease.
“Yes, thank you. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah, that can happen,” he replies with a tiny nod. “The city can be… distracting.”
He sets the basket on the counter. “The night kitchen sent these up. Maybe a late snack will help. My name is Casey, by the way.”
“It’s a pleasure,” I reply automatically. “I’m Iris. Thank you for the fruit. I don’t think I can eat right now, but maybe tomorrow. Bottom shelf of the fridge is mostly empty, if you need a spot to put them away.”
Casey nods and opens the fridge. Slowly and carefully, he slides every not-mango into the fruit box. There’s something so… smooth about the action. Maybe Rakan trains all of his staff to be like this, as ridiculously graceful as he is.
Casey finishes his task and shuts the fridge door. Finally, he turns toward me. “Anything else I can bring up?” he asks. “Is there anything you wish?”
I open my mouth to answer. There are a lot of things I could use, like a way to contact Rakan. But before I can say a word, his question finally registers.
