The pool helps distract me, but even floating in that water he built for me just reminds me of him, his hands lifting me, hislaugh when he tossed me in, the way he looked at me like I was the whole damn reason for the lights under the surface.
Nancy and Maggie have been incredible company, warm, easy, pulling me into their routines like I’ve always belonged. Breakfast chatter, sharing stories about the ranch’s history, Maggie teasing me about my “city girl” habits.
Yesterday I took a little break from writing, dragged one of those huge inflatable floats into the deep end, and just… drifted. Sun on my skin, water lapping gentle against the sides, trying to get a tan like a normal person. Big mistake. I forget sometimes that my skin doesn’t bronze; it just turns pink and angry, then peels in embarrassing patches.
Today my shoulders are still tender, a faint red stripe across my collarbone, but it was worth it for those few minutes of peace, staring up at the sky and pretending I wasn’t thinking about how much quieter the ranch feels without his growl telling Luke to “quit fuckin’ around.”
Being alone like this, without my mind constantly occupied by Cole’s hands on me or his teasing or the way he watches me when he thinks I’m not looking… it’s got me deep in my feelings. About not having a family. About how Cole’s family has started slipping into that empty space without even trying. They’re loud, messy, loving in this effortless, no-questions-asked way I’ve never had growing up. Dinners where everyone talks over each other, inside jokes I’m starting to understand, Nancy slipping me extra biscuits like I’m one of hers, Maggie checking if I need anything before she heads to bed. It’s dangerous how natural it feels. How much I don’t want to leave come August. But I have to. Don’t I? Deadlines, tours, my apartment in Seattle with its tiny balcony and constant rain. That’s my life. This is… temporary. Right?
I pull out my phone to text Ashley, needing a lifeline before I spiral too hard.
Me:Hey bestie. How are you? Miss you and the kids.
Ashley:hey boo, how’s Tennessee? And the hot cowboy of yours? Are you almost done with the book? I need some new smut in my life. Especially my best friends! We all miss you too. You should make a pit stop before heading back to Seattle.
Me:I love you for saying that. Cowboy is gone this week. Kind of missing him. New smut coming soon! And I’d love to but Tina is killing me with these dates. I just wanted to check in, love you.
Ashley:love you Lay.
Jeez, that made me a little happier. I love catching up with her, we both have such busy lives and don’t see each other nearly enough, but just the small check-ins are good. A quick hit of normalcy.
Maggie and I are going to have a girls’ night down at the pool tonight, maybe even Nancy too. Grill some burgers and hot dogs, give Nancy a break from cooking. Something fun to shake off this ache in my chest.
I throw my swimsuit on—the purple-and-pink one-piece that hugs my curves just right, makes me feel sexy even with the faint sunburn and pack my pool bag: laptop for a little writing, notebook, extra sunscreen– lesson learned–towel, a couple of cold waters, and the brown sugar for the burgers I’m planning to make later plus the korean barbeque sauce for the bulgogi as well. I head outside to get some fresh air and maybe squeeze in a chapter before we set up. But as soon as I step out the guest house door, I hear a commotion, raised voices, sharp and angry, carrying up from the main house.
“What the fuck are you doing here?” Maggie is yelling.
I quickly walk up the sidewalk toward the main house to see a pretty blonde—skinny, absolutely stunning girl—standing in front of Maggie. She looks terrified. Nancy is trying to calm her down.
“Maggie stop it,” Nancy yells.
“No, the fuck is she doing here? You have some nerve coming back here after what you did to my brother!” Maggie yells right in her face.
Her brother? Oh my god. It’s Abby.
“Abby?” I say out loud, not meaning to and I cover my mouth quickly.
Maggie nods. “Sure is.”
Nancy walks up to Maggie and Abby. “Here’s your eggs, honey. Tell your father I said hello.” Nancy hands Abby the huge basket.
“Her father is sick so Abby called and asked if she could swing by. Cole is not here, I figured it wouldn’t be a problem. But obviously I was mistaken.” Nancy pats Maggie’s back and heads back into the house.
I walk closer to Maggie, touch her arm gently. “Maggie, come on, it’s okay.”
She starts to calm down, shoulders dropping, but her eyes are still blazing.
“Don’t let my brother ever see you here. You stay away from him.” She shoots at Abby as Abby walks back to her truck and hops inside.
“You okay?” I ask her softly.
“I’m fine. I hate—I really don’t like her. What she did to my brother. Hurt him like that. Disappeared, married some other guy, had kids. I mean, what a fucking bitch.”
“I know. But at least Cole didn’t see her, right?” I say.
“Yeah,” she mumbles.
“I’m sorry you had to see me like that, Layla,” she says, voice quieter now.
