She’d initially protected her heart from Ethenn despite her growing attraction to him. And then he’d proved to be the bloody Warrior of her dreams. It’d been too late to explain her heart to him at that point, not after all her foolish choices. But when she’d seen him with Ivry Doyle, the Water Mage, and he’d admitted wanting to Bond, she couldn’t refrain from acting. He’d admitted his love for Ilain. Perhaps she couldn’t explain herself, but she could have him, she reasoned. And eventually, he would see her heart through her actions.
Yet, still, he held her at arm’s length, refusing to know her or to let her know him.
Well, she’d bare her soul now whether he wanted her to or not.
“I’m scared, Ethenn,” Ilain whispered.
He looked up at her admission, brow furrowed.
She held his dark gaze unflinchingly. “I’m afraid that you’re going to do to me what Evylin did to Jonn,” she confessed. “That you’re holding yourself back from me because you don’t trust me. I’m afraid you’ll realize I’m not what you want and leave me because of it. I’m not asking you to bed me. But I am asking that you consider treating me like your wife—lovingme like your wife rather than just as a woman for whom you harbor an infatuation.”
Ethenn sucked in a sharp breath, and his features pinched in confusion. “Ilain—” He paused, wet his lips, and began again. “I’m not sure how to do that.”
“You could start by being a little sweeter to me,” she said with a playful grin. “Maybe telling me how pretty I am.”
“You’re not pretty,” he said, and his expression softened. “You’re stunning.”
Ilain’s smile grew bashful, but she forced herself to hold his stare. “And I know touching is difficult for you, but...perhaps you could hold me sometime?”
Without hesitation, Ethenn reached over and scooped Clide off her lap. The cat let out a disgruntled “mew” when he plopped on the ground. Then Ethenn wrapped his arm around her waist and startled her by pulling her onto his lap.
Ilain’s breath caught. She wasn’t altogether sure what to do with her hands, so she clasped them on her skirts, which bunched around her legs. “And not tonight,” she murmured, their faces mere inches from one another, “but eventually, you should probably make love to me.”
Ethenn’s lips twitched with a smirk. “Would you like to schedule it?” he offered.
“I’d prefer spontaneity.”
“Mm.” He brushed his thumb along the base of her spine, sending a flare of warm magic up her back. His gaze shifted to the room beyond her, a blush spreading at his collar. “Well, to be honest,” he whispered tensely, “I imagined our first time together being a bit more romantic than in a random inn or barkeep’s house along our journey.”
Ilain knew there were more important things to discuss, but she tilted her head, stuck on the thought. “You’ve imagined our first time?” she asked.
He chuckled nervously. “I’m a man, Ilain. I’ve imagined our first hundred times.”
“I see.” Somehow emboldened by his bashfulness, she draped her arms around his neck. “And where have you imagined this union taking place?”
A small smile softened his whole demeanor, though his muscles were tight, and he still wouldn’t look at her. “In Estshire, there’s a forest with a hidden glen that’s filled with gilda lilies. Their petals are white with golden dots all over them. They’re graceful, beautiful, and rare.” He traced her freckled cheek with one finger. “They’re like you.”
His eyes met hers then, and he whispered roughly, “I’d like to take you there.”
A thin, untimely laugh slipped out of Ilain at the unintended double entendre. “You want totakeme in the forest.”
Timidly, his chin dipped. “Yes.”
“That’s rather wild, even for you.”
“Iama hunter.”
“Oh, and all hunters take their wives into the forest to copulate?”
“Only the smart ones.”
Ilain laughed fully then, though she tried to stifle it so as not to disturb the barkeep and his family. She let her fingers run through the outgrown waves that brushed his collar. “We are going to Estshire soon,” she reminded.
“I thought you didn’t want to schedule it.”
She lifted a shoulder in feigned casualness. “Just presenting the opportunity.”
Ethenn took a steadying breath, his arms loosening around her. “Ilain,” the way he whispered her name was gentle but full of serious intensity, “it’s been less than a week. Even in Estshire, it will have been less than a month.”
