Deckard forced himself to return her tender smile, though he knew his expression fell woefully short. “I love you,” he promised.
With a heavy sigh, Evylin pulled away. “We should get going,” she said. “It’s late, and if we want to make good time, we need to get out of Loclight as soon as possible.”
Deckard nodded, then paused. “Evie,” he murmured. “Are you wearing the Space Relic?”
Her chin raised in surprise. “Yes.”
He pressed his lips together. “I can feel it,” he admitted.
“Oh?”
“It’s...” He ground his teeth. “It calls to me.”
Evylin furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”
He met her eyes. “It wants me to use it,” he explained. “Every time you touch me, I feel it, here—” He pressed a hand to his sternum. “It tugs on my magic but not like your touch usually does. It isn’t something I can easily ignore or let go.”
Deckard stared at her collar, at the place where he knew the Relic hung. “It’s a demand,” he said tightly. “A compulsion.”
The scream in his dream reverberated through his mind.Let me out.
Evylin watched him warily as he continued, “Even now, I can feel it, like a presence looming over my shoulder. It wants me to touch it, to wield it. It wants to consume me.” He met her gaze, confessing his darkest truth. “And I want to let it.”
Caution and worry glided around Evylin, muddling her lighthearted personality. “I don’t understand,” she said. “We’re Bonded.”
Deckard waited, unsure of her point in bringing that up.
She leaned closer. “Jonn, the Alliance wants Bonded couples to carry the Relics because they are the only ones who can carry them without being affected by their pull,” she said. “You and I are Bonded. The Relic shouldn’t affect you.”
The damning fact became clear to Deckard then. “Perhaps I’m too weak,” he said. “And perhaps that’s all the evidence we need to reject the Alliance’s desire for us.”
Though Evylin didn’t seem convinced, she didn’t contradict him.
Rubbing his hands together, Deckard ignored the agitating weight of his moonstone ring. “I’d like you to give the Relic toRafferty,” he said. “We can’t risk my error again should I prove too weak to resist.”
Evylin began to nod, then paused as though in thought. “No,” she said.
Deckard flinched at the unexpected refusal. “What?”
She held his gaze with determination. “Jonn, you need to learn to control your magic,” she said with finality, “to control your impulse. You can’t do that if you take the temptation away.”
“Evylin, it’s dangerous.”
“Everything we’re doing is dangerous,” she said, a hint of playfulness back in her tone. Then she set her hand on his cheek, sending a jolt of power through him once more. “Youcancontrol it.”
“I don’t trust myself,” he admitted.
“Itrust you,” she said. “Let that be enough.”
Deckard tightened his jaw but saw that she wouldn’t be convinced. So he dipped his head in acquiescence. Perhaps he could talk Ilain or Isla into forcing her to give it up. But for now, he’d have to be careful with how much he touched her, how close he let himself get.
Rising from the bed, Deckard offered her a doubtful grimace. “I hope I don’t disappoint your trust,” he said.
Evylin’s expression was so full of love and affection that his heart almost broke at the thought of failing her. “You never have,” she said.
But Deckard knew that wasn’t true.
No matter what Evylin wanted to claim, he’d failed her too many times to count. He’d broken her trust on numerous occasions. The Space Keep was just the most damning among them.
