Effectively alone, Ethenn held Ilain’s challenging gaze, fighting the anger rising within. She was no fool. She knew better than to set out ridiculous ultimatums like this. So why behave so irrationally? Mourning didn’t excuse idiocy.
“Shall we take this somewhere more private?” Ilain asked. “Or are we to have this conversation by the road?”
Without a word, Ethenn turned his horse toward the town. If he was going to miss training, he may as well do something useful with his time.
Leading her into Kesgrave, they wound their way through the narrow streets in silence. A large market filled the town center. The populace was comprised mostly of women closing up shop for the day. It was easy to find the inn, a squat but large building with colorful bunting hanging around its entrance. They stabledtheir horses, paid an urchin to keep an eye out for their friends, and entered the inn.
Ethenn secured their rooms for the night and declined the dinner the barkeep offered, stating that they’d wait for the rest of their party’s arrival. With that, he took Ilain’s hand and pulled her to the back of the inn, where their room awaited.
Once they were inside, and the door was shut, Ethenn turned to glare at his wife. She wore an indifferent expression as she took in his tense demeanor.
“Are you going to chastise me, husband?” she asked with a snide tilt to her voice.
“Why do you do that?” he said bluntly.
Her brow furrowed, and for a moment, he saw her guard slip. “Do what?”
“Pretend to be petty and illogical,” he said. “You’re not an idiot, Ilain. You know I need to train, and you know Brea is the only one who can do it. So why act like an unreasonable child?”
Ilain’s lips parted in shock. “You’re rather testy today.”
“And you’re pushing my patience,” he said. “Why?”
She crossed her arms, the fabric of her dress rustling with the movement. “I just lost my brother—my closest friend—if you’ve failed to remember.”
“Of course I haven’t.”
“Yet, you ask me to be reasonable in my time of grief.”
Ethenn pushed away from the door. His chest was beginning to burn, so he unbuttoned his coat, looking for some relief from the sensation. “You were reasonable the morning after his death,” he said, keeping his gaze averted. “You were reasonable when you healed Thom. Why shouldn’t I expect you to behave the same way now?”
“She’s the reason he’s dead,” Ilain spat. “Why is it so much to ask that you reject her the same as I?”
“Because she didn’t have a choice,” Ethenn returned, fully shrugging off his coat. He turned back to her. “AsIdon’t have a choice. I either train with Brea or I don’t train at all. Do you want that?”
Ilain didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
Ethenn gaped at her, incredulous. “How can you be so irrational?”
“How canyounot see that I’m mourning?” Ilain demanded. “That this is my greatest fear come to life?”
Ethenn’s shoulders slumped, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. The truth was, he did see those things. It hurt him to see her in such deep pain. But the world didn’t stop, no matter how much life took from you. He’d learned that the hard way.
“What do you want me to do, Ethenn?” Ilain demanded in his silence. “I am working to hold it together. I am trying to be ‘rational.’ But when I look at her, I see my brother ripped apart in front of my eyes. How am I supposed to feel about that?”
Ethenn didn’t have an answer.
Ilain took a step closer, pressing her hands to her chest. “I don’t want you to be around her because I don’t trust her. Can’t you understand that?”
“No,” Ethenn admitted. “No, I can’t. She didn’t intentionally kill him. You have to see that.”
“I don’t.”
“You refuse to acknowledge it is what you mean,” he corrected, the heat climbing up to the base of his skull. “Ilain, I understand that it’s difficult for you. But you know—youknowthat I need training. You fear losing those you love, but what about me? What about what I fear?”
She stared at him, uncomprehending.
Ethenn grabbed her arms, holding her gaze. “If I don’t get stronger—if I don’t become a better Warrior—it might be mewho fails next time. What if my lack of training causes Vayden to lose his life? Even worse, what if my failure costs me you?”
