Her eyes darted between his. “You don’t?”
“No,” he replied. Then he kissed her, distracting both of them for as long as she wanted.
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
14TH OF RADIA, 1574
Over the next two days, a semblance of normalcy returned to the troop as they traveled. Through the morning and early afternoon, they rode hard, stopping only in the evenings to train and rest. Ilain joined Deckard and Isla in their training, allowing Ethenn to return to his work with Brea and Evylin, leaving Thom, Rafferty, and Vayden to spar together.
Despite the constant worry over Blount’s location and the stress of what waited for them in the final Keep and the battle to come, the brief return to routine was enjoyable, though Thom was still uneasy around Vayden. Despite the man’s good and temperate nature, Thom constantly felt the urge to apologize. To his surprise, Vayden lived with a calm, ready acceptance of his brother’s fate. There was a harrowed, haunted look in his eyes at times—moments where he would stare out in the distance as though remembering the loss—but all in all, he seemed to choose to live unburdened by the grief.
Thom found it impressive and utterly baffling. How could someone be so levelheaded when faced with the death of someone they loved so dearly? But, as he witnessed Isla’s similar reaction, Thom realized that the couple had already faced more than their fair share of heartache and sacrifice.
That night, after sparring for an hour, Thom, Rafferty, and Vayden began their trek into the next settlement to find an inn. They stabled the horses, procured rooms, and sat down at the tavern’s bar to order tankards of ale.
“Ah!” Rafferty said as the barmaid set the tankard in front of him. “I’ve missed you, old friend.”
“We drank at the inn last night,” Thom said.
Rafferty swiped an affectionate hand over the tankard’s handle. “One can never tire of their true love, Thommy.”
Vayden eyed the weasel knowingly. “You had an unhappy childhood, didn’t you?”
Furrowing his white-blond brows, Rafferty seemed truly confused. “My childhood was perfectly joyous. Rasnaack may have been a small, seedy village, but my pa and I were quite content in our drudgery, I’ll have you know.”
“You didn’t mention your mother,” Vayden noted.
Rafferty raised his tankard in a mock toast. “Didn’t have one.”
“That explains it,” Vayden commented dryly, then turned to Thom. “What about you? Seems you and your brother are mostly well-adjusted. I take it you had a good homelife.”
Thom swallowed down a gulp of the nutty brown ale and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Oh, yes,” he said readily. “The best in many ways. Though Father was gone, serving in the army for most of my earliest years. It was just Mother, Jonn, and me for a bit, but I don’t really remember those days. Then Father finished his commission, came home, and our little sister was born. Anyway, my family is great. I was a shit, though.”
“You still are,” Rafferty quipped.
“Mostly,” Thom agreed. “I’m trying to do better.”
Vayden gave him an approving nod. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re doing just fine.”
Thom smiled with appreciation. He’d come to greatly enjoy Vayden’s company. The man carried a maturity and self-sufficiency that he couldn’t quite understand. It made him think that the man had somehow learned the secret to life—how to live happily despite your circumstances.
After taking another sip, Thom turned to Vayden. “Can I ask you something?” he said.
Vayden shrugged casually. “I don’t see why not.”
“Are you...all right?” Thom asked, broaching the subject with caution. He dropped his volume to ensure their conversation wasn’t overheard by the few patrons and the barmaid. “Not only considering Auden’s death but—the Keeps are harrowing. Especially for those of us without magic.”
Vayden drew in a long, thoughtful breath. “That they are,” he muttered.
“Yet, you seem to be handling all of this chaos and catastrophe rather well.”
A forlorn tilt lifted Vayden’s lips. “I lived as a spy for twenty years,” he said matter-of-factly. “I’ve endured my share of harrowing experiences. During my career, I was also apart from my wife and daughter for months, if not years, at a time. I know the sting of separation better than most. Ilain... She and Auden were more than siblings. They were always together. Me? I’m theotherCalder, the oldest, and yet the least notable. I’m not magical, and I have no claim to greatness.”
Thom raised his chin, feeling keenly connected to Vayden’s words.
“As much as I love my siblings,” the man continued, “there has always been a distinction between us. Not one set in place by my parents or presumed by our neighbors. It’s the simple fact that I’m not biologically a Calder. Nor am I a Mage. Auden and Ilain were taken to Doorstunds Reach when I was fifteen. I lost my siblings that day—my closest friends. While they went off tolearn magic and become a magister and a goddess, I was left to muck stalls and train horses.”
Vayden’s smile turned self-mocking. “There was a time I felt bitterness toward them for it,” he admitted. “And while those days are long past, I think it helped me gain a better understanding of what it truly means to love someone. I was forced to recognize that devotion doesn’t always mean close proximity. You can love someone with your whole heart and not see them for weeks or years. That’s faithfulness. It’s a divine love.”
