Brea nudged his elbow. “You’re frighteningly obvious when you’re scheming,” she said.
“I’m not scheming,” he replied. “I’m considering.”
“Very different,” she noted.
“Exactly.”
At last, Ilain joined them. They ascended the staircase, ready to seek a hiding place among the rocky shoreline. The sky was speckled with stars as they stepped outside, but both moons were mere slivers, keeping the night darker than usual. Thom shivered from the damp breeze sweeping across the sea.
Waves crashed against the shore, spraying them with salty droplets. They found a hideout nearly a mile down the coast. Brea’s magic would be their means of ensuring they saw Blount’s arrival or heard the signal. A large outcropping of oblong rocks stood on their sides, creating a ring-like alcove that would hidethem in its shelter and shadow. Though partially open to the sky, it rested on an angle where the tide couldn’t reach them even at its highest point. They agreed that, during the night, only one of them should sit up at a time. The likelihood of Blount’s arrival before morning was fortunately slim, and they needed rest.
“Why don’t you two sleep first?” Thom suggested as they settled into the alcove. “We need you both at the height of your powers if we are to have any chance.”
Though Ilain readily found a corner to curl herself away from the chilly sea breeze, Brea stayed by Thom’s side. “You’re cute when you’re concerned about people,” she teased as they sat.
“Cute?” Thom scowled in the darkness. “I don’t like that.”
Fondly, she smiled. “Wake me if you see something,” she instructed, then lay down beside him. “Goodnight,mi’caro.”
“Sleep tight,demoloba.”
She lifted her head, eyes narrowed.
“If you have a nickname for me, I get to have one for you,” he explained with a bright tone.
In the faint wash of moonlight, he watched Brea’s brow lift. “So you chose to call me ‘demonwolf’?”
“It’s fearsome,” he said. “And they scare the shit out of me, just like you.”
With a light chuckle, Brea lay back down and fell asleep.
For hours, Thom watched the darkness. He glanced toward the cliffside, towering above them. Deckard and Ethenn were somewhere up there, keeping watch. He sent a silent prayer that they would be safe, as the most exposed members of their party.
With the long-awaited confrontation with Blount approaching, Thom let his thoughts roam to all the mistakes he’d made in his life. He considered Hewitt’s charges.“How do you best want to serve this world... Your purpose is whatever you make it; just make sure it’s a worthy one.”And he thoughtof what Evylin had told him in Whickam Village.“You’re a much different man than when we met.”
Thom felt different. Everything about how he perceived himself had changed. Contrary to his overinflated sense of self, he was lowly, meek, and unworthy. He was a mortal among gods. And he felt like a fool, thinking he ever could have measured up to them.
He was tired of wanting more, of wishing he could be enough for them. He wanted a small life of little consequence where he didn’t feel so inferior all the time.
“But you wouldn’t be happy.”
Thom propped his arms on his knees. The ocean receded and rose, again and again, fizzing around the pebbled shore.
“I’m under no illusions about your worth.”
Ilain had told him that.
“You’re far better and far more worthy than you think.”
Those were Brea’s words.
Why were so many women trying to get him to see his value? What had he done to deserve their admiration? None of them sought his affection, not even Brea. They were simply affirming his worth because they cared for him.
Was he worthy? He didn’t feel it. But maybe you never did.
Maybe worth wasn’t something you ascribed to yourself. Maybe it could only come from the people who loved you. And just maybe, it wasn’t as great a burden as he thought.
“How do you best want to serve this world?”
