“He needs me,” she whispered. “But I was too blind—too determined to have my own way, and now, he doesn’t trust a word I say.”
“But you do love him?” Thom asked.
She nodded slowly. “I would cross all five seas if he asked me to.”
Remembering that Ethenn had named sea travel as her greatest fear, Thom couldn’t help smiling. “That’s pretty sacrificial of you,” he noted.
“Love is sacrifice,” Ilain said flatly. “And I have yet to sacrifice anything for him.”
Thom blinked. “What are you willing to sacrifice?”
“Everything.”
Picking at his fingernails, Thom turned away. No matter her role in the mistake, he was equally—if not more—to blame. It was his outburst, his lie, that had convinced Ethenn against Ilain’s growing feelings. While she hadn’t been in love with the young man at the time, shewasinterested. And he’d ruined her chances.
Thom cleared his throat. “So,” he winced, “this is my mistake to fix.”
Ilain turned to him, expression curious.
“I don’t think Ethenn is going to believe you,” he explained. “No matter what you say, he’s going to assume that you’re just trying to get him to be your Warrior. Which is probably because I told him you never had an interest and never would. He’s got some self-esteem issues, it seems.”
“He had a hard childhood,” Ilain offered.
“So did we all,” Thom muttered. With a dismissive shake of his head, he presented his plan. “It’s going to take some time to repair this damage. Ethenn isn’t going to believe me after one conversation. Even if I tell him the truth, he’s going to doubt me. So keep loving him, all right? Sacrifice for him or whatever. I’llwork on getting him to look past his insecurity and see that you did, in fact, fall in love withhimand not his magic. Will that absolve me?”
Ilain scanned him. “It will.”
“Fantastic.” Thom turned back to the shore. “Now, we’ve just got to kill this bloody prince, and we can save your love life after.”
It wasn’t exactly a “purpose”—fixing Ilain and Ethenn’s relationship—but it was a start.
After the last few days and weeks, Thom had come to a newfound understanding of himself. He liked caring for people. He liked helping his friends and seeing them happy. It made him feel useful. Instead of constantly seeking the love and devotion of others, he was ready to devote himself to loving them.
And one day, once they’d stopped Blount and raised Allund, perhaps he could find a true purpose, one that satisfied him more than anything else ever had.
“I apologized to Brea,” Ilain said, breaking through his thoughts.
Thom swallowed the jerky in his mouth. “Yeah?”
“Yes.” Ilain kept her gaze upon the sea. “I know her choosing you in the Keep wasn’t malicious. It was hard... Brea has been friends with Isla and Vayden for years. They see her as family in many ways. And it seemed to me that she should accept us in the same manner. Yet, she and I never got along, and she constantly rejected Auden’s attempts to get to know her.”
Thom wanted to say that it was hard to accept someone’s advances when you knew they were only interested in using you but kept the thought to himself.
“Her choosing you...” Ilain shook her head. “It felt like a final rejection of Auden, condemning him to a needless death.”
A salty breeze ruffled their hair, causing Thom to bat some of her red curls away as they flew across his face. “Well,” hesaid with gentleness as he pushed the hair behind her shoulder. “We’ve all made stupid mistakes, Ilain. This one is probably the most understandable of them all.”
Ilain looked over at him, her green eyes glowing almost golden in the bright morning light. “Do you know something, Thom?” she said softly.
He raised his brow in expectation.
Her lips lifted in a smile. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Am I going somewhere?”
She shook her head. “I am. When this is all over, I’ll Bond with one of the other Warriors and return to the West. And while I’ll miss Evie and Jonn and Rafferty and...and Ethenn... I think I’ll miss you most.”
Thom didn’t know whether to feel honored or baffled. “Me?” he said.
