Ethenn sighed. “Listen, I—I wanted to apologize. I was not...sober last night,” he said.
Ilain raised her full fork, her brow quirked in amusement. “Neither was I,” she said before taking a bite.
“Good—I mean,” Ethenn shook his head, “not good, but good that we both were in a rather compromised position.” He paused, then grimaced. “Not that that’s good either.”
Steadily, she watched him fumble, not bothering to stop him.
“What I mean is,” he corrected again, “it’s good that we both understand that neither of us meant what we said, and so we can easily forget about the whole thing.”
That got Ilain to set her fork down. “What whole thing are you referring to?”
Ethenn blinked. Didn’t she know? Had she been so drunk that she’d forgotten their exchange? He rather hoped so.
Cautiously, Ethenn said, “Do you remember—?”
“My intoxication wasn’tthatgreat,” she said, a twinkle in her brilliant green stare. “Of course, I remember our conversation.What I’m asking is what part of that conversation do you want me to forget?”
Ethenn had to think about it for a moment. “The whole conversation.”
She frowned. “Are you backing out of our agreement?” she asked with indignation.
That set the heat flaring up his neck and into his cheeks. “We didn’t agree to anything,” he said tersely. “I said that I... When you asked if I... And I admitted I did, so you said we should, and then you left. That isn’t an agreement. That’s a—a...I don’t know what that is.”
Ilain patted the corner of her mouth with a napkin, then carefully spread it back over her lap. She settled her hands demurely on the table, meeting his wary gaze. “Very well, allow me to formally submit my proposal,” she said, then continued before he could get a word out. “Corporal Loxley, I am a Fire Mage in need of a Warrior husband. As I find you more pleasant than any other male Warrior I’ve yet to meet, and you would like a Mage to Bond with yourself, I would request that you marry and Bond with me so I can take up my place as Highlady Chancellor of the Order of the Flame when Allund comes into its power, and so I can satisfy your desire to be a Bonded Warrior and your desire to have—” She paused, smirked, and concluded, “Me.”
Ethenn gaped at her, the heat covering his ears.
“Do you agree to my proposal?” Ilain asked.
Quite sure he’d never heard anything more ridiculous in his twenty-one years, Ethenn struggled to find the answer. Did he want Ilain? Damn right, he did. She was somehow the most alluring, graceful, and powerful woman he’d ever witnessed. She was bloody gorgeous too. But she was nothing like what he’d imagined a wife to be.
Ethenn had grown up happy. He had a small family—just him, his parents, and his baby sister, Terrina. They’d lived on the outskirts of Trollenston, content and peaceful.His father started taking him on hunts when he was only six. As a boy, Ethenn always imagined that that would be his life. He’d grow up, fall in love with a woman as loving and tender as his mother, and raise his own family in the glens of Estshire, hunting with his sons.
Then everything changed, and slowly, through the years, Ethenn’s dreams collapsed into rubble.
Now, he was a Warrior, and that life wasn’t accessible to him anymore. Sure, he could marry a sweet, gentle, non-magical woman, build a home with her in the quaint countryside, and have a family together. But he now knew that woman would die well before him, and no matter how much he loved her, she’d never be able to give him that rush—the sense of total clarity and perfection—that a Mage could. Their children would have a father who outlived them too. And what sort of life would that be?
Ilain Calder was everything Ethenn hadn’t wanted. She was fierce, dangerous, driven, and significant. She was fire embodied. A life with her would look nothing like the dreams of his youth.
And yet, he wanted her. Deep in his soul, he longed for her, to feel her fire fill his veins and bring him to life like nothing else could.
But she didn’t want him.
Until now.
Ethenn knew it was foolish. Even if she was right, even if she fell in love with him due to their Bond, he’d always know she didn’t love him for him. She hadn’t chosen him because of who he was but because of what he could give her. And that would always be between them.
A wise man wouldn’t put himself in that position. He’d protect his heart from such devastation. A wise Warrior would choose a Mage who held the same love for him—even if that was none at all. There would be no disparity between them, no chance for resentment. Mutual affection or indifference—that was the wisest course.
Ethenn wasn’t a wise man.
Here sat the woman not of his dreams but of his deepest desires, and she was offering herself to him.
He might be a fool, but he’d rather be a fool with her than without her.
“I agree,” Ethenn said, “on one condition.”
“What’s that?” Ilain asked, her words unusually light as though she’d been holding her breath for far too long.
