They all sit there staring and nudging each other. ‘You ask her,’ Phoebe tells Flo.
Flo smiles. ‘We were all super curious about Chloe who was also on the retreat. Miguel told us a few things. Do we know that happened there?’
I smile. ‘I think that ended in Ibiza.’
‘Ben got arrested, you know that, right? At the airport. Him and Miguel were trying to get through security to see her,’ says Norah.
‘They were?’ I say in shock. ‘The last time we saw Ben was at the wedding.’
‘There was a wedding?’ Flo asks curiously.
‘But he didn’t come to the airport?’ I reply. ‘Is he in prison?’ I ask, wide-eyed.
Phoebe laughs. ‘God no! Miguel knew people so it was fine. But I think Ben showed up wanting to tell Chloe something.’
My expression softens and I sigh under my breath. I never thought badly of Ben after his drunken ramblings at the wedding, ever. Because as much as he tried to psychoanalyse and fix me, I was always doing the same, watching this bloke trying to figure out how to exist, where to belong, what made him happy. I don’t think the man has a cruel bone in his body but he’s also completely unaware of how perfect he is. ‘You know the one thing I noticed about your brother? In that week I got toknow him, he revelled in giving joy to others, it was an outward expression of caring. He cooked, he did all these thoughtful little things and made these lovely gestures and projected them out into the world.’
‘That sounds like our Ben,’ Flo says.
‘But he never asked for anything in return. It’s almost like he doesn’t know how to accept it, like it’s too much, like he thinks he’s undeserving. I was there when he ended it with Chloe and he was pretty plastered, but it was like he was talking himself out of being with her, pushing her away, believing there was something better out there for her.’
The sisters are quiet for a moment as they absorb this. ‘He did that…And she really liked him?’ Flo asks, her tone a little sad to hear it.
‘Oh, I think he broke her heart. She put herself out there for him. Tears were shed.’ Chloe cried on the plane too. When Bella asked her why, she said she was scared of flying but I knew why really.
‘So they’re not in touch? You’re telling me Ben never told her how he felt about her in the end?’ Phoebe asks, a little surprised.
‘I don’t believe he did. I think Chloe has used the space and distance to try and move on,’ I explain.
‘That is a shame,’ Norah says, pouting.
‘Your brother puts so much love into others. I hope he gets that back some day.’
The sisters take it in turn to look at each other and we all digest that, even the babies are quiet, looking supremely confused by all the new faces at this table. ‘So, what can we get you guys today? Are these little beauties on solids? I can do a lovely simple risotto for them with white fish. Maybe some spinach?’ Flo says, letting Amber grab on to one of her fingers.
‘That sounds perfect,’ I say. ‘Also…Ben used to just cook, never to order, so please surprise us today. I want to show Dean a bit of Lorenzo’s magic.’
Norah puts a hand to my shoulder and all the sisters beam at the mention of their dear uncle’s name. I never knew the man but even I know that his love, his magic, is something he extended to each and every one of his family. ‘Perfect. Phoebe, drinks…’
Phoebe salutes as they all disperse from the table, waving to the babies. The warmth and hospitality of their spirit is clear for all to see.
‘He put his love into others, did he?’ Dean says. ‘You trying to tell me something, babe?’ I open my mouth aghast and hit him with my napkin. ‘Well, if you ask me, I did very well persuading you to go on that retreat.’ His hand stays on my thigh. ‘You didn’t tell them everything about Ben and Chloe though.’
‘Dean, I heard them have sex on a sofa…Would you want to hear details about your brother’s sex life?’ I ask him.
‘Yikes. No. Good call,’ he says, his eyes widening. He leans over and brushes some hair out of my face. ‘But whatever happened on that retreat, I think it was a good thing,’ he says, scanning my eyes. Dean always does this: looks at me in way that shows he’s looking deeper than what’s there.
‘Well, you know what happened…’
‘That you got your norks out on a beach? Yeah, you sent me a photo,’ he says, smirking. ‘But it’s like, I don’t know. You were always gorgeous and beautiful but it’s like you see everything in colour now,’ he says.
I smile because I know exactly what he means. I kiss him on the cheek. Grateful, happy. ‘That’s quite romantic from you.’
‘It is, isn’t it? Do you know what’s going to kill that romance though?’
I look at him through narrowed eyes.
‘Ellie has just filled her nappy.’
