Once a week, I snuck out of the house before sunrise and left a bunch of flowers on the Rhodes porch with little positivity notes. My mom always sent notes to Jaxon, Ford, and me in our lunch boxes, so I copied them for a year until I started coming up with my own.
Little inspirational quotes.
I just wanted to see her smile again.
However, because of the time of year, I didn’t get to see much of Arizona as she mostly hibernated through the summer. It wasn’t until school started up again that I finally got a real glimpse of her, up close. While she was busy with school, participating in activities, and hanging out with friends, I could tell she wasn’t truly present.
Her smile was no longer magnetic and carefree; it was just there.
A mask, if you will. A veil protecting her from people digging too deep into her feelings.
Years passed, and just as I thought I finally had a foot in the door to make my move, said figurative door slammed in my face, and her walls were higher than ever.
It was after that, that I said fuck it, fuck her, fuck everything.
I threw the nice guy out the window and partied my ass off between fire academy, EMT training, and all the certification courses I needed until I was hired at the Sutton River FD. Fighting fires was in my blood, and I was the only one of my brothers to follow in our pop’s footsteps. I dreamed of working alongside him; the only problem was while I was downstate for training, the firehouse got a significant upgrade and merged with the medics.
So, imagine my ire when I realized we could be sleeping under the same roof if our shifts aligned.
Which they did—often.
The sound of the ambulance rig’s backup siren pulled me from the trip down memory lane as it returned to the station. I was already tucked around the side of the building in a mood, so I decided it was best not to make my presence known.
“You can stop with the sales pitch, Alex; I reopened my account the other night.”
“For real? Why did you let me drone on and on then?”
“Honestly, I’m still trying to psych myself up to follow through.”
“Girl, you already know everyone in the county radius. There are no suitable options here, so you need to broaden your search.”
What the fuck!
“Don’t remind me.” She sighed dramatically.
“Ari.”
It’s Arizona, you dipshit.
“Why is this so important to you?” she asked.
Exactly. That was my question.
Why was Alex so interested in her personal life? But I guess I should be thanking the stars if it meant he wasn’t into her unless it was all a ruse.
“I’ve been here almost six months now?—”
“And what, you decided you needed a pet project?” she quipped.
“No, it’s just. I like you.”Fuck. “As a friend, I should clarify.” Nice save, I thought, uncurling my fists slightly. “I like to think I’ve gotten to know you well and want to see you happy.”
“I’m perfectly content.”
“Are you really?” Alex asked as I peeked around the corner and watched their interaction.
“As much as I’d love to continue this conversation, I can’t stand another second of the smell of Billy’s vomit on my arms. Can you take care of inventory and restocking?”
“Yeah, I’ve got this.”
