“Gonna cum,” I say as I grab his dick with my hand, and with rough, hard strokes, I rub him until he screams out his orgasm, triggering my own as we cum together. My legs tremble at the intensity and Simon shakes beneath me as squirt after squirt leaves him utterly spent. As the moment starts to stabilize, my body feels too weak to be holding him up, so I remove his legs from my shoulders and slump to the ground, where he joins me. Both of us sit there, with our bare asses on my cold kitchen floor. Cum everywhere. Perfect.
After a few minutes of silence, Simon scrambles to clean himself up with a kitchen towel, and hastily dresses while I sit back and watch him. I knew this would happen. I expected it.
“Is this the plan? Fuck and run?” I ask.
“Yes.”
“Will this be our little regular thing?” I ask, and he just shrugs like he isn’t bothered by this. Liar. I know how you work, Simon. Antagonizing him is the only way to get a reaction out of him. To get the truth.
“Just to be clear, I’m guessing from your reaction just now, that I’m your secret, which means I can fuck who I like. This is nothing exclusive, right?” I ask, intentionally pushing him. I don’t want anyone else now I’ve had him, but he doesn’t need to know that. But he needs to be honest with himself. And if I have to break him so he can be free, I’ll do it. He’s mine. And he better keep his hands away from anyone else.
“Do what the fuck you like, Carlos,” he says with a sigh as he dresses quickly, desperate to leave.
“Remember you said that, but I don’t feel the same. I catch you with anyone else, blood will flow.”
After he finishes dressing, he looks at me, raising eyebrows in disbelief.
“You really are delusional. You fuck who you want but I can’t?”
“That’s not what I said. You said I should do what I want and it's obvious you don’t really like me. If you made the demand, I’d keep it exclusive, but I know you can’t do that. But I do like you, so I’m warning you now, on your side, you better remain exclusive to me, little lion. You won’t like the consequences.”
He strides over to me, face pushed right into mine. Hatred written all over his features, you can see steam billowing out of his ears with disdain for me. But it's fake.
“Bring it the fuck on, asshole.”
I lunge at him and kiss him hard, sucking on his tongue so his taste will linger in my mouth for the rest of the night. Of course he allows it. Both of us are already ready for another round of passion. But I stop the kiss. He needs a firm hand to help him through whatever this denial is he is going through, and I’ll force him into it.
“Now get out before the family asks questions. Or will you lie and say you were with a woman tonight?”
I get the reaction I thought. Silence and anger as he turns and leaves without a word, slamming the door so hard behind him that my pictures on the wall shake from the vibration.
What is the saying? You sometimes have to be cruel to be kind.
12
SIMON
S hit. I don't look back as I slam the door to Carlos' apartment behind me. The cold wood of the hallway stretched ahead like
a runway for my anger, my shame. A familiar guard leaned against the far wall, jaw tense, hand brushing the butt of his gun
like he was waiting for me to cause a scene.
“Don’t,” I snap at him, not even slowing down. “Say nothing and do nothing, just let me go past.”
The guard opens his mouth, but the look on my face shuts him down from responding as I push past him, my shoes echoing down the corridor, every step a curse under my breath.
God, I was such a fucking idiot. Impulsive and completely out of character for me.
The elevator ride down to the first floor is too slow. I stab the button like it might bleed. The mirrored wall displays my reflection—dishevelled shirt, bruised lips, bruised neck, skin that still burns where Carlos had touched me, claimed me. Marked me. His cum and olive oil drip out of my ass, making it impossible to deny what has happened tonight.
I hate the way it makes me feel.
No. I hate that I don’t hate it enough.
When the doors finally open on the ground floor, I rush outside into the damp air. It's the end of fall, just before the weather turns sharp with winter at our heels. I prefer it over the humid summer. I roughly drag my fingers through my messed up hair as I pace toward my car, fingers trembling not from fear, but fury.
After that first kiss, I promised myself I would never cross that line with him again. But tonight after seeing Ivan in the gym, the panic of what he saw in me and my need to touch and feel another man. Who the fuck am I kidding, it was the need for Carlos. My head was all over the place, and like Carlos had sensed my despair, he sent a call out for me, an otherworldly connection that made me drive over here without any other thought than fulfilling that desire. The intense craving. It became too much and I had no control.
