“I don’t give a fuck who you screw.” Wow, that sounds so convincing, Si.
“I think you do,” Carlos says before standing and walking over to me. Oh no, no. Why can’t I just contain these urges to spit at the guy? What is he doing? I freeze, aware that we have the full attention of Ivan and Tyler, and probably a few of the dancers, but I can’t look away from Carlos. It's like I'm outside of my body watching this happen to someone else as Carlos runs his index finger along my jaw. I can’t move.
“I think you care very much, little lion,” he says in a low, commanding, sexy voice. I panic. He touched me in public. I’m such a coward.
“Don’t ever fucking touch me.”
“Careful, Simon. You already owe me one favor, push me again and I’ll have Dima agree to let me have you at my beck and call for a week.”
“Drop dead, Carlos. I’d rather have my right hand cut off than be near you,” I say as I get in his face. His smell surrounds me, bringing back memories of that night together. I hate him for it.
The smile on his face and the softness and humor in his eyes, tells me he knows I’m lying. Panicking, I storm off to the back office and can hear his laughter while I retreat.
15
CARLOS
I can’t stop the laughter as Simon runs away from me. Does he not see that his behavior gives his truth away? Does he not see
that those closest to him already know that he likes men? And that they don’t care? Why does he do this to himself? I was
tempted not to tease him, but I promised myself to push him, because it's the only way he will become free. It's time he lived.
“You’re one fucked up individual, Carlos,” Ivan says to me, Tyler cuddled into his side. They all fucking know. But, it's not my place to talk for Simon. Only piss him off.
“See you around, boys,” I say before leaving the club.
I walk through the parking lot until I reach Lucas, who is waiting for me next to the car.
“You like him,” he says as he finishes his cigarette, and stubs it out on the ground with his foot.
“I enjoy rattling him.”
“Come on, Carlos. I know you. And don’t take me for a fool, I know you were fucking when he turned up the other night.”
“You know what I want you to know, and you keep it to yourself.”
“Hey, I’m not criticizing you. You know I only want to protect you.”
“I’m aware.”
“So, if he turns up again, am I just to allow him up?”
“Yes. I’m sure he’ll pop by tonight,” I say, convinced that he will be unable to stay away after what has just happened.
“You’re so screwed up in the head, Carlos, and I love it,” he says as we both laugh. Lucas has been around me long enough to know how I tick.
“How is my brother? Causing any problems?”
“He’s not really talking. Only asking when you’re going to visit again.”
“Hmm.”
“Are you going to see him?”
“No. Nothing more needs to be said. I’ll see enough of him when we leave next week.”
“Fair enough. Ready to go?” Lucas asks, and I nod.
