“Adam.” Her voice shakes, and her hand squeezes mine tight.
I place a kiss on her forehead, then meet her eyes. “Honey, you did nothing wrong. I love you so very much, but I need a minute alone.”
Her eyes dip, and I know I’m asking a lot because she deserves comfort after this too, but I won’t be able to do it without getting my shit together. I want to recover this day for us. I don’t want him to gain any power back.
“Hey, look at me.” I tilt her chin back. “Three minutes, okay?”
She nods, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “Time starts now.”
The whole way up the stairs, I fight the urge to run back downstairs. But to do what, I don’t know. Be with Mia? Sure. Check on Callie? I know I need to. Run out the door and show my father that despite never fighting back once, I’m perfectly capable of doing it now? That’s the one that keeps me putting one foot in front of the other until I reach our bedroom and shut the door behind me.
“Fuck.” I run my hands over my face and back through my hair. “Fuck!”
I hate him. Why didn’t I tell him that? Would it have made me feel better?
Standing my ground in front of him felt good, but the fact that it feels so unfinished now is eating at me.
How do I protect Mia and Foster? How do I keep Callie out of this? How can I possibly face him again and not nosedive to his level?
Second chances and happiness felt like enough before he was standing in front of me…and now this sickly feeling of retribution is consuming me.
Locking my hands behind my neck, I pace back and forth. I’m down a minute and I need to get all these ugly thoughts out.
I’m so angry he held his head high walking in here. I hate that I don’t know the motive for them showing up. Some part of me wishes I got to see even an inkling of remorse on his face that my mother showed.
Her face may haunt me for a while. I always thought of her just not caring about what happened to us, but maybe I missed the abuse she suffered, too.
Was I a bad son for not noticing? Maybe I should’ve stopped her on her way out, but the disappointment of finding out she truly didn’t care is too much.
Dammit. I came in here to get it together, not spiral even more.
A knock sounds at the door and my entire body aches. I’m not ready yet. I’m not good enough for Mia right now.
“Adam.” My high school coach pops his head in. “Can I come in?”
I let out a breath. “I can’t say I’m the best company right now.”
“That’s alright.” He steps in, closing the door behind him. “That beautiful wife of yours is worried about you. So much so, that when I introduced myself, she asked me to come check up on you. It seems I missed the reunion.”
I stop in my tracks, my hands finally falling from my neck. “I’m trying to get it together before I go back downstairs.”
“Right, and how’s that going?”
“Badly.”
He nods. “Can I help?”
I toss my hands up. He can give his best go at it. I don’t really think a speech is going to help too much, but I hope I’m wrong.
Looking down at the floor, I wait for the typical opener of “You’re not him” and “You can’t let him win,” but there’s nothing but the sound of his footsteps, and suddenly I’m wrapped up in a hug.
It takes a second to register it, but my arms don’t move. When a minute passes, I’m sure he’s about to let go, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t say anything or lessen his hold.
I blink a few times, just to make sure I’m seeing this right. Jett forced a hug on me before, but right now I just—I feel too all over the place.
“It’s okay to be angry, Adam. It’s okay to be sad. And it’s okay to let your family see all of it. Not the ones who left, but the people downstairs who are all worried about you. They don’t need you to be in control and unbreakable.”
My eyes fall shut and my arms finally give in. We stand there until the adrenaline that was racing through my body dulls and my muscles relax.
