I have always wanted a family, so keeping this baby is what I’m leaning toward. However, this has to be the complete opposite way of how I wanted this to happen. Yes, I can see a life with Adam, but this changes everything for us.
This is us sharing a child for the rest of our lives. All I could think about last night was how this would affect our relationship, but we really need to consider how our relationship will impact the baby.
Dang it, I need a notebook to write things down, but I don’t want to leave this bed either.
Okay, rapid first thoughts.I keep the baby. Adam and I try co-parenting and navigate what we could be as we go. But maybe that should come after I’ve had the baby?
Lucie said something yesterday about Dex and his wife handling their marriage and parenting wrong, but I didn’t ask any follow-ups because why the hell would I? Boy, do I have a new set of questions now.
“Hey, Lucie, I know you mentioned that your husband had an accidental pregnancy and a marriage that didn’t work out… Can I ask what they did wrong so Adam and I don’t do that?”
Christ, I’ll take things I can’t ask another pregnant lady for five hundred, please.
But I have so many of them… Were they a one-night stand? Did they actually care about each other before and things changed after the baby? How was it an accident? Did people accuse her of trying to trap him?
I can hear all the judgment now—I just wanted to lock in an athlete. The oldest trick in the book. I swear, if I get one whiff of that bullshit, I’ll lose my mind.
The other concern is that I’m now an obligation for Adam. This was a true accident, but now will he stay for me, or only the baby?
I can’t really explain it, but I have this gut feeling that that’s a bit of bullshit. I suppose it only matters that Adam and I know the truth about our relationship… And the people we care about.
Fuck, we’re going to have to tell people… My parents…his—our friends…work…
Adam’s arms tighten around me as his head nuzzles into the crook of my neck. He takes a long inhale, then exhales. “I swear I can hear the wheels turning in your head,” he mumbles softly.
An unexpected laugh tumbles out of me. Turning my body slowly, Adam leans back for me to rest my head on his chest.
“Sorry, the moment my eyes opened I started thinking about everything.”
Adam brushes his fingers through my hair. “What are you thinking about?”
I huff in amusement and glance up at him. “I’ll give you one guess.”
This lazy grin tugs at the corner of his mouth before he runs a hand over his face. “What do I get if I get it right?”
I really want to stop the laugh, but he just looks so hot, and it’s so warm and cozy here with him that I feel way more carefree than I should in a situation like this.
“Ugh, Adam, this is serious,” I say, swatting at his stomach. “I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I want to do and how I want to go about it.”
Adam continues to brush my hair lightly with his fingers. “Want to air out some of those thoughts? I can solely listen, or we can spiral about it together.”
God, he’s so sweet. I turn to meet his eyes. There’s a small wave of nausea that crashes over me, but I let that be the feeling that pushes the admission out. “What if I said I want us to discuss the idea of having this baby?”
“I’m all for it.” His voice is soft and gentle.
“I’m still terrified,” I admit, and his hands move to cup my face.
“Me too. Absolutely freaking out on the inside.”
“Ha, you should be in my head.” I playfully push off him and roll back to my side and catch a glimpse at my alarm clock on my dresser. We’ve slept well past nine. “What happened to being an early riser?”
Adam rolls to his side and props his head up on his hand. “I woke up at seven, but didn’t want you waking up alone, even if I was just downstairs, so I went back to sleep.”
This wave of warmth rolls through my body. “You slept in for me?”
“Without question.” Leaning forward, he places a small kiss on my forehead. “I know this is serious, Mia. I don’t think either of us would even consider deciding what to do next lightheartedly. Whatever you need from me, I’ll do it, but if you’re up for us talking to someone, I have some friends who might be able to help.”
I can’t keep the skepticism off my face. “Dex? Adam, I’m not sure we should do that to Lucie. She mentioned a little yesterday about not loving talking about Dex and his ex-wife.”
