“No.” I turned around, and pulled his hands, guiding them under my T-shirt.
He watched me with reverence as the tips of his fingers dug into the soft curve of my hips.
My lips parted on a gasp as his hands roamed my body, his nose dragging along the side of my neck, his breath hot and impatient.
“I need to know that this isn’t the end.” His teeth nipped at my ear, and it was so distracting that I hardly registered what he said.
His touch ran up my thighs and slid inward until he was parting mylegs, forcing me to straddle one of his thighs. Unanswered pleasure rolled up my spine as I arched my back, letting my body curl against his.
“I need to know, Vera,” he demanded. “I need to know that this isn’t going to be something you’re getting out of your system. I need to know that you’re not going to feed me some bullshit line about the apartment or your job, because no matter what happens to us, I will never put your well-being in jeopardy. I need you to trust in that.”
“But—but—”
He pressed his thigh upward, creating a painfully frustrating pressure.
“This isn’t f-fair,” I stuttered. “I can’t even think right now.”
One hand slid up my shirt, exposing my belly. Outside, the sun was beginning to rise, and the sudden lightness in the room had me gripping his wrist and trying to push him away. I hadn’t thought this through. Not at all. I wasn’t ready for this. I wanted the pleasure of feeling him, but not in the vulnerable morning light. In Vegas, the lights had stayed off.
His thigh thrust up again, my middle pulsing. He was hard against my leg and suddenly his thigh wasn’t nearly enough. Instead of letting me push him away, he circled his fingers around my wrists and held my hands on my thighs.
“If we do this,” he said, “you’re not ignoring me when we wake up, Vera. Do you understand?”
With my hands braced on my thighs, I attempted to grind against him, but he forced me to still.
“Vera. Please.” The desperation in his voice momentarily broke through my veil of lust.
“Goddamn it,” I said. “When did you turn into such an open communicator?”
He laughed, teeth dragging along the crook of my neck.
“Yes. Okay. Yes. I won’t ignore you.”
He tilted his head into the back of my neck, lost in my tangle of curls. His hand spread across my stomach as he stood up and turned me around. With such care, he wrapped his arms around me, his arms cradling me as he laid me back against the mattress.
“Let me taste you,” he said.
I shook my head, pushing up from beneath him on my elbows. “No, no, that’s— I don’t need you to do that.”
“Youmight not need it, but I do,” he said.
My breath hitched and my brain would not shut the fuck up. I hadn’t shaved in a few weeks. Brody had gone down on me a handful of times, but he never seemed to enjoy it and any time he did, my mind populated with reasons why he should stop, like some sort of toxic search engine results. What if I tasted off? What if I smelled? What if he didn’t like that I wasn’t fully shaven? (Not that his pubic hair ever stopped him from receiving oral.) How could I possibly shut off my brain long enough to enjoy something that intimate?
Eli inhaled deeply as he dragged his nose down my chest, pushing the hem of my shirt up. He groaned at the sight of my breasts.
I did that to him. I was the reason for that desperate noise. I said it over and over again in my head. A mantra. I wanted him to touch me. I didn’t have to be the person who only had sex in the dark or hid under the cover of blankets.
His gaze scraped over my body. “Please let me eat your cunt.”
I sat up partly, and the sight of him standing there, panting for me, that filthy word fresh on his lips... it was vulgar and exciting. Exciting enough to edge the uncertainty out of my brain. “Okay.”
Then he was crowding over me, his thigh heavy between my legs. His fingers mapped a course along the line of my jaw, his thumb tracing my lips. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he said. “And I won’t be a gentleman about it.”
I lifted my head, unable to wait any longer. My lips nearly brushed his, but he pulled back with a taunting grin. That was all it took for me to reach up and pull him to me. Our lips collided with enough impact to bruise. We were teeth and tongues and swallowed moans.
He pulled back for a moment and held my neck as he panted in my ear. “It’s been a while,” he admitted. “And god, you’re so fucking sexy. I don’t know how long I’m going to last.”
A streak of bravery chased through me and I reached down between us to rub my hand over his erection.
