“We all just end up rotting in the dirt, my dear.” His voice went a little high; a little impatient. “So why not get to it sooner without all the waste?”
I couldn’t argue with a green funeral, but it didn’t really seem to be on brand for someone of his tastes. “Leonard, I wonder if I could ask a sort of touchy question.”
He nodded and twirled a hand for me to speed it up.
“How much... time do you have left?”
His manicured brows knitted together. “How much time doyouhave left?”
“Well, I—I don’t know.”
“Neither do I,” he said simply. “Why is it always so shocking that someone might plan for the end? We plan weddings and baby showers—none of which I’ve had, by the way. So why wouldn’t I take great care to plan my own farewell?”
“Okay,” I said. In some ways, Leonard reminded me of Ruby. This was so far off from my mother’s own response to her impending death. She had wishes, of course, but she was more concerned with her last moments on earth and not how we might commemorate her after. She firmly believed that time was forusand not her.
Butweddings.Baby showers.Those words I felt deeply. I didn’t have many friends, but among them I was the only one who was childless and single. I’d spent so much energy over the last twenty years going to bachelorette parties or saving up for destination weddings or splurging on baby registry gifts I definitely could not afford.
My friends weren’t bad people, but there were never many opportunities for any of them to reciprocate those efforts. There were birthdays, sure, but I was never the type to plan an elaborate celebration for myself. I couldn’t think of anything more tedious, honestly.
“So, it would seem that a green funeral would be way more low-key than some of these really impressive plans you already have in place here... How long exactly have you been planning for?” I asked.
He leaned back and made a birdcall. Patrick responded by swooping over to sit on his shoulder. “Probably since my fifties. I’m eighty-one now. I’ve had the coffin for—oh, I don’t know. Six years, I suppose. I wouldn’t tell a buyer this, but I have taken a nap in it once or twice just to test-drive it. With the lid open, of course.”
“Of course,” I said, as though leaving the lid open was the most obvious and normal part of that story. “Let me do some research and see what is the best way for us to find a new home for your... item.”
“Good, good.” He nodded. “I’ve got other things to off-load as well. Decor. A memorial guest book. Then, of course, there’s the headstone, though that might be a sunk cost. But surely there’s another Leonard Simmons out there.”
“Surely.” I drank the rest of my coffee as Leonard proceeded to tell me all about the day he brought Patrick home.
Something about him and this whole situation made me feel like I was in a rapidly filling tank of water with only so much air remaining.
After I left, I locked myself in my office.
This place was supposed to be my escape from Hollywood, but it seemed that my escape plan now required an escape of its own.
Chapter Twelve
The food in the cafeteria at Starlight Palms was so good it had no business calling itself a cafeteria. My meal of choice for my first week was chicken Caesar salad and a side of Parmesan truffle Tater Tots. I also got into the habit of picking up whatever green juice concoction was available because it made me feel like I had my shit together.
Since Morgan or a resident would search me out in the cafeteria, I’d begun taking my lunch back to my office, where I could enjoy it behind the safety of a locked door. Today, though, Hollis beckoned me over before I could make my exit and invited me to sit with her, Ruby, and their table of friends.
“Sort of feels like I’m the new girl at the lunch table,” I joked as I sat down between Hollis and Ruby.
Gwen, the woman from the bus with the hearing aid, leaned over and whispered, “We heard you saw the coffin.”
I scooted my chair back, the legs scraping against the floor. “Oh no, I’m not here to gossip.”
Ruby pulled me by the wrist back into my seat.
“It’s not gossip if it’s public knowledge,” said Gwen.
The man next to her kissed her cheek and let out a little growl. He wore a button-down knit top and white shorts, like he’d chosen a signature style in the sixties and hadn’t looked back.
I turned to Hollis. “Do they need a room?”
She rolled her eyes. “Gwen and Harvey have needed their own room since we were all twenty-two and shacking up in one hotel room here because that’s all we could afford.”
“The four of you have known each other since your twenties? And you used to come here?” I knew Ruby had been a patron of Starlight Palms, but I hadn’t imagined that she could have lifelong friends I didn’t even know about.
