Despite my shitty mood today, I was settling into the routine of having a real job. Working for Brody was real, especially in terms of LA jobs. But this was a job with a lunch break and coworkers and something about the normality of that was comforting, especially since the last time I hadn’t worked for Brody was the Smoothie Hut in college.
The two lifeguards, Mindy and Oscar, were both students at the nearest community college and looked to be bored enough to collect lint from their belly buttons. But at least they’d be paid for their lint picking.
After I went to start the popcorn and grab myself a box of Whoppers,I checked the time. The event was scheduled to start at eight, but it was already ten minutes after.
The residents of Starlight Palms were still a mystery to me in many ways, but one thing I did know was that they were punctual.
Hollis and Ruby arrived at eight thirty to an empty pool.
“Excuse our tardiness,” Hollis said.
Behind her, Ruby wore a botanical-patterned silk caftan and smelled like weed.
“Are you two high?” I asked.
They giggled a little as they eyed my box of half-eaten Whoppers.
Ruby sniffed the air. “Is that popcorn I smell?”
I opened the gate. “Help yourself.”
The two of them milled around the snack table before I finally shooed them away and told them there was no use in staying. Besides, the only thing worse than failing was for Ruby to witness it.
“You two might as well go too,” I told Mindy and Oscar, who both made googly eyes at each other that led me to believe their plans for the night included more than picking lint from their belly buttons. Was everyone in this place getting laid?
I wasn’t wearing a swimsuit, but I decided to risk the raft. I’d set up this whole damn thing for absolutely no one, so I loaded my arms with towels, popcorn, and a few canned Bellinis from the adult beverage cooler.
As I pulled the raft to the steps of the pool, I was incredibly grateful for my idea to attach ropes to each float, should we have a senior go adrift. I tied my rope to the hand railing just as the opening credits began to play for the movie. I should have brought a backup movie that I would have actually wanted to watch.
I wobbled and swayed, nearly wiping out before I plopped down, bringing on a little water and sitting in a puddle, completely resigned to my fate. Whatever. Wet pants were better than being startlingly sober while Ruby ate through our pantry due to a serious case of the munchies.
With one of the towels, I made myself a pillow and used the other as a blanket. The sway of the water was nice. The raft reminded me of thewaterbed Ruby had in the nineties. Tomorrow I’d deal with tonight’s failure, but for now, I sipped on my Bellini and nommed on popcorn.
I wasn’t sure how long I’d lain there when I felt something tugging on my rope, pulling me back to the steps. The movie screen had gone dark and I was curled on my side with the towel tugged up over my shoulders.
With a groan, I yanked the towel over my head and said, “I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m fine.”
“If lost at sea is fine, then sure.”
I knew that condescending voice. My raft teetered as I sat up, popcorn falling from my lap.
My cheeks were warm, and my vision a little fuzzy at the corners as I shifted, empty cans clattering at my feet.
Welp.
I was drunk and being actively fished out of the pool by Eli Buckley.
As the raft hit the stairs, I swatted the nearby alligator float out of my way and stood up much too fast.
Eli held out a hand to help me up, but I refused and gripped the railing instead. Except, the raft had begun to float back out into the pool, and I was holding on to the railing for dear life, trying to pull the lower half of my body back to safety.
“Help,” I squawked.
“Oh, now you want help?” Eli asked as my torso stretched farther across the water.
Instead of letting me slow-motion belly flop into the pool, he pulled the rope back and gripped my biceps, forcibly helping me onto solid ground.
I swayed for a minute, my stomach gurgling.
