My stomach roiled. I set my fork down. “What is it?”
Her eyes flitted back and forth between mine. “Carl offered me an amazing opportunity, but it would mean I couldn’t move to Michigan.”
Suddenly, everything made sense. It was regret I’d read in her eyes. We hadn’t brought up her living situation since Naija’s birthday party. I’d been so distracted by her, so caught up in her, that I’d done the exact opposite of what I should’ve done. I ignored the warning signs because I wanted her. I couldn’t see past my desire for her. It all boiled down to one thing. No matter how right it felt, our timing was wrong. Because she’d made her decision. She planned to stay in Atlanta.
“Dex, I haven’t given him an answer yet,” she insisted.
“But you’ve already decided?”
“He wants to sell me his business.”
Even though I knew what was coming next, even as my own emotions threatened to choke me with their intensity, I couldn’t help but be proud of her. She’d worked her ass off and now she was finally getting what she deserved. “That’s amazing.”
“It is.” She flashed a sad smile. “Dex, I—”
“A few months ago, you asked me what I wanted,” I interrupted.
“And you told me you wanted me.” Her chin trembled. “Does this change that?”
“Never,” I admitted. “But more than anything, I’ve always only wanted you to be happy.” A tear spilled from her eyes, and she brushed it off. “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t tell you to jump on this opportunity?”
“You wouldn’t.”
“Exactly.”
“But I haven’t decided yet, Dex,” she argued. “Mom decided to stay in Michigan for a while, and I don’t want to abandon her. And I certainly don’t want to lose you. I can work anywhere. I can partner with Preston or focus on my non-profit. I think I could be happy there.”
“Youthink?”
She frowned. “Yeah, I…” Her shoulders fell. “I think so.”
The need to put some distance between us made me stand and pace the floor. I took a moment, counted to ten several times. I wasn’t angry with her, but I had to fight the strong urge to beg her to stay with me. Because I wouldn’t force her to choose. “Here’s what I know,” I said finally. “IknowI love you.”
Her eyes widened. “You do?”
“I’m so in love with you, Char. I probably always have been. Time and distance didn’t change that simple fact. It seems it just lay dormant until I saw you at Justus’ wedding, until I kissed you. Iknowmy life is better with you. But I alsoknowthat you just lost Julia, and you broke up with your boyfriend. IknowI’m not moving to Atlanta. And I knew better. I knew better than to start a relationship with—”
“Don’t,” she warned. She stood, tossing her napkin onto the table. “Don’t do this, Dex. You’re making it seem like I don’t have a mind of my own, like I’m just out here being reckless with your feelings. And mine. I’m not the same person that I was in high school or even college. My life hasn’t been a bed of roses. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, but I’m very capable of deciding on my own. I’ve been doing it for over a decade without you. I don’t need you to shrink me. I need you to trust me.” She sighed. “But you don’t, do you?”
I lifted my eyes, held her gaze. “Char, you—”
“You don’t trust me not to run from you.”
“That’s not true,” I told her.
“Then, what’s the problem? I’m standing here telling you that I want this to work and you’re pushing me away.”
“That’s not what I’m doing, Char. Three years down the line, when you’re in Michigan and you realize that you should’ve stayed here, that your life is in Atlanta… I don’t want you to resent me.”
“What happened to taking every day as it comes? Why are you skipping ahead to some point in time that we don’t even know will exist?”
“Because…” I let out a deep breath. “Youthinkyou can be happy in Michigan, but I need you toknow.” I slipped on my pants and my shirt.
“Where are you going?” she asked.
“Maybe we need to take some time. You can think about what you want, and I can…”
“Dex?” She walked toward me. “Don’t leave. We can talk about this.”
