“Don’t tell anyone, but I haven’t seen a physical dick in months.”
“Stop,” she ordered. “I love that you’re talking to me, but can we draw the line at male parts? Think back and tell me if you tasted the popcorn in that little baggie in the pantry. What about a piece of candy?”
“That’s it!” I clapped. “Spencer gave me gummies.”
“Mr. Spencer?” Des asked. “As in Spencer Cross?”
“Yeah.” I smiled. “With his fine self.”
“We’re getting somewhere. What kind of gummy?”
I glanced over at her. At twenty-four years old, she was a rockstar. Talented. Intelligent. Gifted. Perfect. “I’m so proud of you, babe. You’re amazing.”
“Thanks, Mom. I need you to calm down, though. It’s the edible.”
“What?” Panic welled inside. “I had an edible?”
“You just said you ate a gummy.”
“Oh.” My shoulders fell. “Right. I had one.”
“Just one?” she asked.
“Or two.”
“Two?” She pulled over in McDonald’s parking lot. “And you didn’t eat anything?”
“Nope. Just a piece of cheese. And a grape.”
“Who eats just one grape?”
“Your mother.” I shrugged. “I was busy.”
Des massaged her temples. “Maybe you should eat something with substance.” She pulled into the drive-thru and ordered a small fry and three bottles of water. “This should help.”
I ate a few fries in the car, then guzzled down one bottle of water. “I’m full.”
“Try to drink more,” she pressed. “You need to stay hydrated.”
“I’m sleepy.”
“Okay, I have to run into Marshall’s really quick. I need one more Christmas gift.”
I perked up. “Good. I love shopping.”
She turned the car off and glanced at me. “I don’t want to leave you alone in the car. Are you feeling a little steadier now?”
Waving a dismissive hand her way, I assured her, “I’ll be fine.”
When we entered the store, I nearly tripped over the wheel of a cart. Des steadied me with her hand. “This was a mistake. Let’s go.”
“No.” I swatted her hand away and ventured toward the shoe section. “I’m fine.”Except…
I couldn’t concentrate. And my feet were huge. I was a giant and my footsteps were loud as hell. And my head was probably as big as the people in Sam’s Club. I stopped in my tracks, turning to Des. “I have to sit down.”
“Lord, why is this my life?” Des looped her arm through mine and led me back toward the door. She helped me get in the car again. “I’m taking you home.”
A loud ring boomed over the speaker. I screamed. And Des shushed me.
