“Don’t bother,” she commanded, refilling my empty glass with more water. “I don’t need another apology, Wes. I need you to do better.” The teakettle whistled behind me. “Have a seat.”
The room descended into tense silence as she cooked a light breakfast. Once she was done, she brought over a plate of dry toast, an egg, and black tea.
“Eat,” she ordered, sitting across from me.
It didn’t take long to finish the food on my plate, but when I was done, I said, “I know you don’t want to hear it, but I am sorry.”
She tilted her head. “Are you, really?”
Shame settled in my gut. “I am.”
“What’s the reason for your behavior this time? Sad? Angry? What is it?”
I shrugged. “I don’t have an excuse, Granny. I fucked up.”
“You definitely did,” she agreed. “I’m just trying to figure out why. You’ve had so many chances to get this right.” Reaching out, she squeezed my hand. “You’re excellent at your job, intelligent, intuitive … yet you still engage in these shenanigans.”
“I don’t know why,” I admitted.
“You need to figure it out. If that means therapy, make the damn call.”
It wasn’t the first time she’d mentioned seeing a professional. I’d resisted because I felt like I didn’t need a stranger to tell me what I already knew. My life was a series of unfortunate events. No matter how many strides I made, there was always a part of me that felt like I didn’t deserve happiness, that I didn’t deserve success. I didn’t know how to change that.
Her expression softened. “I want you to win.” Her chin trembled. “I want you to be better than him.”
This conversation had suddenly taken a turn that I wasn’t prepared for. I had no doubt that Granny loved my father, but she rarely talked about “him” like this. The tears standing in her eyes, the way her shoulders fell … The display of emotion was surprising because she rarely let her mask slip.
“Your father destroyed his life,” she continued.
“He destroyedourlives,” I corrected.
She shook her head. “No, he didn’t. You’re still here. You’re still alive.Youstill have a chance to do something great.”
My throat burned with unshed tears. “What if I’m not better than him?”
“You are,” she insisted. “I wouldn’t have invested in you like I did if you weren’t.”
Closing my eyes, I let her words wrap around my heart. “I don’t want to let you down.”
“Then don’t.”
“What do you need me to do?”
“Bishop Garland has requested a meeting this afternoon. For the record, I have no problem walking away from this deal, and I will, if necessary. I can’t stomach his self-important ass anyway.”
I chuckled.
“I’m not laughing,” she said.
“She approached me.”
Granny held up her hand. “I don’t care. The only thing I care about is what I toldyouto do. And that’s allyoushould care about, too.”
“You’re right. I messed up.”
“I hope she was worth it.”
“We didn’t even—”
