Sinking into the tub,I closed my eyes and inhaled the scent of my coconut milk bath. Being someone who used to prefer showers over baths, I looked forward to a soak every now and then. Especially after sex with Asa. If I wasn’t confident in my ability to suck a dick, I might’ve been a bit self-conscious.
Asa was young. He still thought all-night sex was a natural activity. He didn’t worry about muscle pain, stiff legs, and a sore back because he was still in his thirties. At forty years old, one false move and I could’ve been splayed out on the floor. It was already bad enough that he liked to twist my body every way but loose. Missionary? Nah. He wasn’t about that easy sex life.
And I loved it.
Really.
But my body rebelled against me every time. Today, I must’ve strained a hamstring because I couldn’t walk without a limp. Sex wounds had become a normal occurrence. So much so that I’d invested in a jar of Bengay and several boxes of Salonpas pain patches. Because yes, it was that bad.
And I’d thought I was going to teach him a thing or two? Shit, that man had me swinging. Literally. He had mastered that sex swing Paityn developed for her naughty toy line and had me screaming his name until I lost my voice.
Which led me to today.
I’d hurt him. Leaving him like that in the restaurant when Gemma came had shifted things between us. Right now, I couldn’t say it was a good thing. Of course, he claimed he was over it. Yes, he’d promptly gifted me with several back-to-back orgasms as he fucked me so long, so good, I forgot tonotfall asleep.
Before Rick, I never cared much what a man thought about me. I’d never been shy in the bedroom. I liked to take control, I liked to dominate, and I liked to come. If a man couldn’t handle that, I found someone who could.
With Rick, I never had that problem because eight times out of ten, he made sure I was taken care of sexually. And I convinced myself that it was enough.
But Asa? That lil’ nigga knew how to work that thang. From the beginning, he’d let me know that he was down for whatever. And he wasn’t lying. And I was hooked. Like a backshot fiend looking for her next fix. Legs open whenever he walked into a room.
As a result, I’d asked myself the same question every single time I met him somewhere for a clandestine hookup.What the fuck am I doing? Because there was no way thatthiswas what I should be doing. Sexing my best friend’slittlebrother? The Baby Boy of his family? Nah. This shouldn’t be a thing. Never a thing.
It was only supposed to be one crazy night. A little orgasm or two to forget my troubles. I had an itch, and he scratched it. All night. Well, technically the whole weekend. Like he promised. I wasn’t supposed to still be sitting on his dick years later. In secret.
Somehow, I’d lost my common sense once he showed me what he was working with, and now I was obsessed. With his dick.
I’m lying.
Withhim.
I figured out the moment it was more than sex for me. The moment his smile made my day.
Last year, on our birthday—we shared the same day—he’d sen a text asking me to go to Oahu with him. One of his clients was getting married and he needed a plus-one. Reluctantly, I agreed. I told myself it was because I hadn’t been to Hawaii since Zara and X’s wedding. But when I saw him at the airport, I knew it was just Asa.
While we were there, I would catch myself smiling for no reason, leaning into him when we walked along the beach, daydreaming about him during the wedding luau. He spoiled me, too. Massages under the moon, breakfast in bed, little gifts every morning. Asa was a gentleman in every way. With a voracious appetite for me. And I latched on to that feeling because it had been so long since I felt cherished, worshipped.
This thing between us started as a fling and morphed into something complicated, something that could blow up in both of our faces. But I wasn’t sure I could walk away at this point.
Even now, I couldn’t stop thinking about his face right before he left to go to the hospital. He was worried. And I was too. Gemma was part of our extended “framily.” I’d known her as long as I’d known him.
In my mind, she would always be the cute, sometimes flaky, sometimes pensive girl who begged me to take her to the movies. But she was his best friend, closer to him than some of his siblings.
The concern in his eyes still haunted me, because he was unflappable. It was a “Young” thing. From Papa Stew down to Asa, they all carried themselves in the same way. They liked their space but showed up for each other.
Asa was a mashup of his siblings. He moved in silence and rarely showed his emotions to anyone, like Tristan. Similar to Duke, he had a dry sense of humor. Like Dex, he was the calm in every room. He was brutally honest like Blake and Dallas, but he could be sweet like Bliss. And he reminded me of Paityn every time he did something thoughtful like fly to Cali after my surgery and show up on my doorstep with organic fruit, veggies, and lean proteins.
We talked about our families often. He once shared that he had to mute the sibling group chat because sometimes they were too much for him. Not that he didn’t love them. On the contrary, he adored them and would do anything for them. But he’d shared with me that he realized early on that he needed to maintain a close but healthy distance from the larger group for his sanity. Which was part of the reason he didn’t go to college right away, and instead, chose to travel.
Getting to know him on a different level only made me want to learn more about him. I’d spent the last few years figuring out what made him tick, what made him Asa. And I recognized the turmoil swirling in his beautiful brown eyes before he rushed to the hospital. So I knew whatever happened with Gemma wasn’t good.
I checked my phone. No new notifications.From him. No missed calls.From him. Admittedly, I was torn between inserting myself into his private life and following my first mind and going to the hospital.
My mind was so cluttered that I didn’t even hear the bathroom door open. I screamed bloody murder when I opened my eyes and saw Paityn standing in front of the tub.
I planted a hand on my heaving chest. “Tyn, what the hell?”
My best friend folded her arms over her chest. “Sis, why is Zara calling me at three in the morning asking me to do a wellness check?”
