“You did a good job the other day.”
She laughed. “I bit my tongue. That shit hurt.”
“Fine.”
“Plus, soon we’ll have to talk about my neck and my back. I’m trying to bend my body the way you want me to, but I’m not in shape anymore. I’m not at the gym every day.”
“We can work out together.”
“Hell no. You’re already killing me with your dick. I can’t die on a treadmill.”
Barking out a laugh, I nipped her bottom lip. “You’re silly for that.”
“Just sayin’.” She wrapped her arms around my neck, kissing me deeply. “I love your dick, but I need to be able to move after you fuck me through the night.”
The last few days were horrible, some of the worst of my life. Yet, the darkness had been eclipsed by tiny glimpses of light. My heart was broken, but I’d laughed, spent time with my brothers, had moments with my parents, and now I was staring into Rissa’s eyes. She made things better. She made me want to be better.
My father’s words filtered through my mind. He’d mentioned the pride I would feel when Ezra met the woman or man who made him want to be a better person.
I was too engrossed in my grief to appreciate it, but now … I wondered if I’d already met her all those years ago. Was the woman who’d turned my dick into a statue my forever? I couldn’t be sure, but I believed she was the one for me at this moment. And if I didn’t already want this thing between us to be more, she’d just cemented it today. Because she’d unknowingly given me something no one had given me before. Not even Gemma.
Hope.
seven
SO EASY (TO FALL IN LOVE)
ASA
My father lied.
And Gemma was wrong.
I was failing at this shit.
It had been a month since Gemma died, and me and Ezra had settled into a mundane routine. I continued to fuck up, and he continued to spit up on my good shirts.
Surprisingly, the legal stuff had been the least of my problems. There wasn’t much of an estate to settle. My best friend had thought about everything. The house was in a living trust that would hold the property for Ezra until he became of age, she had little debt, and she’d named me as successor trustee so I could administer the trust immediately.
Dallas helped with that.
With Demi’s connections, she was able to file the motion quickly, asking a judge to appoint me as the temporary guardian until the court establishes paternity. We received the DNA test last week, and the hearing was set for early September.
Although the judge granted me permission to go home, I’d chosen to stay in LA until everything was settled.
It also helped that Rissa and I were locked in. While we hadn’t made any promises, and we were still sneaking around, she’d been there for every uncertain moment. She helped me through diaper rash, sleepless nights, and provided much-needed stress relief.
The big problem was Ezra.
I’d put in a good effort. I repeated affirmations every morning about resilience and adjusting to change. But really, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
Ezra was screaming his heart out, kicking his legs frantically, and slobbering on my clean sheets. It had been like this for hours with only a brief reprieve to eat. And I didn’t know how to make it better.
Everyone had pretty much gone back to their own lives and families. Even Paityn had dipped, jetting off to London on an extended business trip.
Before they left, I thought I could do this. I’d tricked myself into believing it wasn’t that bad. My family had provided a buffer between me and Ezra.
Now, it was just me and him. And his crocodile tears. And his loud wails.
