No, I don’t, but there’s a part of me, deep inside, that knows that’s the only way anything is going to change.
I shake my head.
After Odesa, I vowed never to trust anyone to that same capacity again. I promised I wouldn’t let myself get hurt, and instead, all I’ve done is cause someone else pain.
What does that say about me?
More than I want it to.
Spiraling, I pause, desperate to bring myself back from the brink before I do something stupid, like peer over the edge before me.
I manage to take two steps back, my body moving on its own as I kick off my boots and quickly lose my socks. The second my feet press into the grass, I feel a sense of calm, but it’s not enough. If I were a Land Protector like my brother, I’m sure I would take more from it. As it stands, it’s enough to calm the spiraling inside, but my thoughts remain chaotic.
With my head hung low and my mind scattered, I focus on my breathing, trying to decipher what it is that is causing me so much distress.
I already have the answer; I just don’t want to admit it.
My spine stiffens at the sound of a gentle whoosh in the distance, my muscles clenching for a moment until the ground vibrates with a thud. My heart races, hope blossoming in my veins as I refuse to lift my head, until a rough surface drags across the back of my hand.
Flipping it over, I press my palm against the familiar green scales as my head tilts back.
For the first time in forever, the smile on my face is genuine as I stare at Alaric.
Two brushes of my hand against him and the chaos starts to melt away, revealing the ability to think a little more clearly.
He looks out over the clifftop, getting comfortable beside me as I lean into him, my silent soother.
Walking the length of him, I keep my palm connected, taking every ounce of peace from him, until I reach his tail and notice something is different.
His feelings are scattered too.
I can sense it.
Distracted by his needs, I press against the side of his face as I look deep into his eyes and open my mind to him.
“Alaric?”
He shakes his head, downtrodden and heartbroken.
“Alaric, what’s going on?”
He continues to look off in the distance, like he can’t piece together his emotions either, and worry gnaws inside of me.
A soft smile curls the corner of my mouth despite the circumstances as I acknowledge the fact that we’re one and the same, right down to our souls. He’s another part of me, as I am him, so whatever he’s got going on, I want to help, just like he does for me time and time again.
Running my hand over his scales, I try to be his silent soother as I recall the day we met.
A hatched shell waited for me in my brand new dorm as I entered Neverbound Academy. The second I had been announced as an Air Protector, his egg appeared in my room, incubating until I arrived to find him.
Everyone else cooed and awed over their dragons like they were an accessory, but Alaric wouldn’t have stood for that. He likes distance more than I do. Isolation is a gift, not a punishment, and letting people in is not worth the effort and pain.
Heneverliked Odesa. Not that he knew her for long. Her ceremony was six months after I was announced as Ivy’s fated mate, but I should have known then she was no good. Alaric has a knack for seeing the truth in people. Understanding who they are within and deciding if he likes what he sees or not.
Truthfully, that means he doesn’t like most people. He tolerates Sax because he’s my brother, another part of me, and he can manage to be close to Teddy and Archer, but that’s as far as it goes. In the world of dragons, Lucky, Hugo’s dragon, whose name does not reflect the sheer size and beast-like aura he has, is the only one he will go near; otherwise, he’s a loner. Just like me.
Except for her.
That day out by Inky Lake, he consoled her in a way he’s only ever done for me.
