12
IVY
By the time I'm in a fresh uniform, unscathed from my own actions, lunch has come and gone. As much as Archer tries to insist that I take the rest of the day off, I feel energized. I can’t hide away in my room when there’s this much adrenaline coursing through my veins.
Instead, I find myself feeling stuffy in one classroom after another as one lesson bleeds into the next. I’m not focused at all, not even a little. I'm too occupied by the awe that floods my body as I repeatedly recall what I accomplished.
Did I set myself on fire in the process? Absolutely.
Was it worth it? One thousand percent.
I think I'm in love with myself for the first time in my life. I feel a sense of pride in my own abilities, not because of a title I received, or hope infused into me by my brother, but from my actions alone.
As much as I don’t want to ruminate in my dorm, I don't want to sit through the boring lessons and learn everything else that comes with this world either. I just want to feel that intensity again and again and again. I want to explore my magic, explore creating a flicker of a flame, and also come up withan emergency backpack for a spare, fresh uniform for when I inevitably cause harm to myself again.
It’s exhilarating.
I think I’m addicted.
“Where's your head at, Princess?” Teddy whispers from beside me as the history professor starts to draw the class to an end.
I shake my head with an infectious smile on my lips and a whimsical air floating around me, then the classroom door opens, and Professor Viola sticks her head in.
She purses her lips as she glances over the room for a moment before garnering the professor’s full attention. “A meeting has been called to take place in one hour. You already know if this applies to you,” she declares, disappearing from sight a moment later as whispers spread throughout the classroom.
For the first time today, they don't relate to me. I still don't understand what they mean, though, and there’s a thick churning of curiosity rising inside of me.
“Class dismissed.” The professor’s words are barely audible over the students, but everyone seems to hear him as they rise to their feet.
I clear my throat, gaining Teddy’s attention. “What was that about?” I dare to ask as he pushes his chair back behind him.
He rubs the back of his neck for a moment as Silas appears in my peripheral.
“If you don't know, Ivy, there's probably a reason for that,” he says with a wink before sauntering from the room.
My eyes widen in surprise at his tone. I can only assume someone's a little irritated that I declined his offer earlier.
I consider chasing after him, but quickly come to the conclusion that whatever he's feeling is based on his ownactions. I haven't led him on, I haven't tried to initiate anything. I'm sure with a bit of time and space, he'll get over himself.
Teddy nods toward the door for me to follow him, moving behind the rest of my hated mates, but as I pass behind Baron, Sax swings his arm out, stopping me in my tracks.
His gaze clashes with mine as he rakes his teeth over his bottom lip. “It's regarding what they talked to you about in the medical center,” he breathes, and my spine stiffens.
“The whole thing they were discussing that I would only be a part of when I wanted to be, you mean?” I clarify. He’s talking in riddles that confuse me more than the first time I heard them, but he nods. I exhale slowly, thankful he understands what I wasn’t specifically saying, but it makes my chest tighten nevertheless.
I can sense the silent question in his eyes.
Do I want to join them now?
The mere thought of it sends a shiver down my spine.
I'm not ready yet. I’m not ready to wade through the waters of what I do and don’t know when I’m already juggling enough as it is.
“Do you want to join us?” he offers, finally speaking the words out loud, but the longer they linger in the air, the more certain I am of where my mind currently is.
I shake my head, bracing for a flicker of frustration or a level of encouragement to make me change my mind, but to my surprise, he doesn't do either of those things. He simply drops his arm and waves for me to carry on.
I said no.
