I got the coffee started…the machine rumbling as it began to brew, the scent filling the apartment.
“I mean…yeah,” I said. “I guess I’ve just always figured I would be a mom, I’ve always loved kids—I thought I was goingto do that with Bryce, it didn’t work out, then I met Nash and it just…clicked.”
Delia didn’t say anything—which was very unlike her. I looked back to find her peering at me, her head cocked, the book still in her hands.
“What?” I asked.
She slumped into a chair. “I don’t get it,” she said.
“I’m…lost.”
“I think I just—” She paused. “Casual sex, fine. Breeding kink and talking a big game about ‘put a baby in me’? Fantastic. But talking about it and actuallydoing itare a huge difference. Like…” She stopped again. “I want to be clear I’m not judging you.”
“Sounds like you’re about to judge me.”
“I’m not, I promise,” she said. “But normally you just—there’s an order they tell you, right? Date, fall in love, maybe live together, get married,thenbabies. And you just…you skipped all the steps with a man who’s great in bed who you hardly know, and you’re perfectly fine with that? I guess I’m just making sure you’re okay.”
I leaned back against the counter beside the coffee pot and crossed my arms. “Are your parents still together?” I asked.
Delia’s lips parted like this had just occurred to her. “Oh…yeah. They are. Forty years and counting.”
“Well, mine are divorced,” I said. “And they followed all the steps, had me—turned out they didn’t like each other and they didn’t like kids either.
Delia was quiet.
“So the steps didn’t protect them,” I said. “And they didn’t protect me either—I did the steps with Bryce. Five years of doing it right. And he still called me from Boston and ended it and I ended up crying in a bar I’d never been to before.” I paused. “The steps are just…steps. They don’t actually guarantee anything.”
“That’s fair,” Delia said quietly.
“Nash isn’t Bryce,” I said. “He’s not my dad. He’s not someone who followed all the steps and then decided he didn’t want it anymore. He’s someone who has been showing up for his daughter every single day for five years without any steps at all, just—because she’s his and he loves her.” I looked at my hands. “When I saw that I just thought—oh. That’s what I want. That’s the thing I’ve been waiting for.”
Delia was very still.
“And the baby thing,” I said. “I know it’s fast. I know it looks insane from the outside. But I’ve wanted to be a mom since I was eight years old and raising Lucas. That wanting didn’t start with Nash. It’s just—he’s the person I want to do it with. And he wants it too. And we’re both adults who made a clear decision.”
Silence.
“Okay,” Delia said finally. Soft and genuine. “Okay, I get it.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She nodded. “So how can I help?”
I laughed awkwardly, bringing over a cup of coffee for her, keeping mine on the counter. “Not sure you can really help me get pregnant…”
“No, silly,” she laughed too. “I mean—admin-wise. At school. With Mrs. Petersen and Principle Daniels and…everyone else on the clown car.”
“Oh god,” I said. “I hadn’t even thought about that.”
“I have,” Delia said, taking her coffee. She wrinkled her nose. “You have any creamer?”
“Fridge,” I said. “Hope milk works, I take mine black.”
“Gross.” She stood and grabbed the milk, then stirred some in. “Anyway…youshouldbe thinking about this, because I sit in the office every day and I see everything, and I can tell you Mrs. Petersen is already onto you. That woman isobsessedwith your future baby-daddy—or, boyfriend? Is he your boyfriend?”
“I guess,” I said. “But—rewind. She already knows?”
“I just get a vibe, but you might want to prepare since like…you could already be pregnant.”
