I could tell from even one look at the cover—a muscular man, shirtless, holding a swooning woman in a ballgown, the sleeve pulled down off one of her shoulders. I actuallygaspedwhen I saw it, then I laughed at myself…then I looked closer.
Opened the front cover.
Read the first page.
There was nothing lurid on the first page, at least. I don’t know why—I’d imagined it would be filthy from word one, that I’d immediately see the wordpenisand slam it shut.
Nope. Nothing like that.
I shut it again and chewed on my lip.
Looked at the bubble bath…looked at the PJs.
Wondered if I was brave enough to ask Forrest if it would be strange for me to have a bath and read a little. If that would be imposing. If?—
No.Willa, no—you had the courage to run away, you absolutely have the courage to tell the nice man you’re staying with that you would like to have a bath.
I picked up the bubble bath and the pajamas and the romance novel and I stood up before I could talk myself back out of it.
I unlocked the deadbolt, then I strode out into the hall like a woman on a mission. The cottage was quiet, but I could just barely hear the scratching of a pencil on paper. I followed the sound to the kitchen, where I found Forrest hunched over the table with a bunch of papers spread out in front of him, reading glasses pushed up into his curly black hair. Nickel was under his chair; she lifted her head when I came in, thumped her tail once, then put it back down.
Forrest looked up, eyes widening slightly. “Hey,” he said. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” I said. “I’m—” I held the things against my chest. “I was going to—I wanted to—” I stopped. Tried again. “I’m going to have a bath…if that’s okay.”
He looked at me for a second.
“You don’t have to ask,” he said. “Bathroom’s all yours.”
“I know,” I lied. I didn’t know. No one had ever just…given me permission to do whatever I wanted. “I just—I didn’t want to use your hot water without asking.”
“Use whatever you want,” he shrugged. “There are towels in the cabinet under the sink. The hot tap runs slow, but it heats up fast—so give it a minute, then just be careful to get it right.”
“Okay.”
“There’s also—” He pushed back from the table and went to the cabinet above the refrigerator, then came back with a small speaker. “If you want music. It connects automatically.”
I frowned. “I um…I don’t have a phone?—”
He winced. “Shit, of course. Uh…there’s radio on it too. You just—” He pushed a button and the speaker came to life, an ad playing with a slight crackle every so often. “Change the station if you want, we pretty much only get oldies, country, or top 40 out here.”
“As long as it’s not worship music,” I said with an awkward smile.
He chuckled. “Noted. No worship music.” Then he turned around to go back to the table. “Just…holler if you need anything.”
I stood there for one more second. He’d already looked back at his papers—not dismissing me, but giving me an easy out rather than watching me stand in his kitchen while I tried to learn how to be a person.
I went back down the hall.
Ran the bath.
Poured in enough bubble bath that the foam came up to the rim…then I stood there and watched the bubbles climb and pop.
I got in.
The water was hot enough to make me hiss and then sink…and I lay there with the steam rising and some country singer coming through the speaker on the edge of the sink. I just laythere and thought. Wondered if they were going to come looking for me. Wondered if they even cared. Wondered if the other girls were okay, hoping they hadn’t been punished in my stead.
No one had helped me. They would have told if they knew what I planned.
