They were all very busy, but Juanpa never wasted an opportunity to flex about the job with the Yankees. Couldn’t blame the guy, for a boy from the Bronx, bragging rights were in order. That didn’t stop both Patrice and Milo from cursing him out though. I laughed at their antics before we all said our goodbyes.
I ended the call feeling a little melancholy for my friends and the life I would give up if I decided to stay here in Ithaca. I felt unsure about everything. What was I doing here? Why was I leaving a life which fit me so well for something that could fail?
For some reason Jude’s face kept coming up as the answer to all those questions. But I tamped that shit down immediately because it felt stupid and too fast. We barely knew each other, and as I’d said to myself and other people a million times, I was here for other reasons.
Then why did things going well with Jude seem to feel just as important as OuNYe succeeding?
Jude
There was a lot of brown skin flashing on the screen of my phone, and I went for it so fast I almost spilled coffee all over my desk.
“Shit!” I yelled after I knocked over an empty water bottle and bumped my desk chair. After settling down, I opened the screen and saw a text from Nesto, it was pointless to try to hide my smile as I read.
Looks like I got marked up last night, wonder how that happened…you better hope my t-shirt covers it or it’s payback if I see you tonight.
The image was a shot of his chest, right on his collarbone above his tattoo there was a little red bruise; it wasn’t very big, but it was definitely a bite. I tried to overlook that “if” on his message glaring at me like a beacon, and responded, chuckling as I typed.
You must have the wrong person. I have no idea how that got there.
I was grinning like an idiot staring at the three floating dots as Nesto typed his message.
I’ll make sure to fill you in on how this sort of thing happens then. I’m still up for that drink if you change your mind.
Why could I not just say yes? I had nothing going on tonight. I could meet him for a drink. I could see him again.
It’s what I wanted.
I’m not sure. I have a packed day today, but I’ll text you when I leave the library.
The heat on my face and the churning in my stomach, as I waited for the rebuff I was sure would come was a twisted comfort. Because a man like that didn’t need to beg anyone for a drink.
Those three dots lingered for what felt like hours, and by the time the bubble with his message appeared on the screen I was lightheaded from holding my breath.
You just let me know. I’m here. Have a good day Jude. <3 TTYL
Dammit.
You, too.
I closed my phone and sat there for a minute, feeling mildly nauseated with dread and anticipation. I tried to think back to a time when anything had felt this inevitable, this important, and I came up blank.
Three years after keeping myself at a safe distance from anything involving messy feelings, Nesto was making me want to be bold, and that terrified me.
I returned from my thoughts and saw Carmen staring at me with a funny look. She came over and sat on my desk with her arms crossed. “Okay, spill. What’s all this grinning, then frowning, then staring into space looking spooked about? I know at least some of it must be Nesto. How did it go last night?”
Her pushiness truly knew no bounds.
“Yes, some of it was in fact Nesto. Last night was nice.” I cleared my throat.
“Ooooh.” She nodded with a smirk, like I said something very scandalous. “Nice, huh? I assume by that you mean sex.”
I blushed again and looked away. Because even though I was thirty years old, it was still pretty embarrassing to talk about sex with other people, even my best friend.
“Well, I wouldn’t sayfull onsex, but we kissed and fooled around a bit. It was good, he’s attentive and gentle, and very intense.” I groaned, closing my eyes. “It was amazing and I can’t stop thinking about him, which is a problem because I’m not really looking to get involved. He wants to go for another drink tonight, and I don’t know.” I squeezed my eyes shut and let out an agonized breath. “I don’t think this is a good idea.” I could tell she was about to go on a monologue about my stupid self-imposed love drought, but I wasn’t doing that this morning, so I held up my hand before she started. “I know what you’re going to say. I can lecture myself inside my head if you like, but I need to get back to work, and so do you,” I turned toward my keyboard, smiling placidly. Carmen was having none of it.
“Oh, no you don’t. Don’t do that shit where you pretend everything is fine, but you’re actually a ball of anxiety. Hon, what’s the harm in getting to know him a bit? Besides—” Carmen stopped talking and looked up, her face immediately going icy.
“Hi Misty. Can we help you with anything?”
