“Hey.” Camilo sounded completely worn out, which was his permanent state lately. We’d barely seen each other in the past two weeks. Even Libe was starting to worry about him. Since the last times he’d been over to the house, he’d been so obviously exhausted, all I wanted was to let him rest. When he’d come over on Valentine’s Day, he’d barely been able to stay awake helping Libe with her class gifts. Afterwards he’d fallen asleep within seconds of getting into bed and had run off at 5:00 a.m. to go do more work.
I was worried about him, but he refused to accept any help for his mom’s rent, or for anything else for that matter. He’d cancelled twice on me in the last week, and I was starting to feel desperate.
“How are you, amor?”
“Tired,” he answered, but I could hear a smile under the weariness in his voice. At least he was still happy to hear from me. “What’s up, baby? Talk to me.” I heard a long exhale and I could barely hold back the need to go to his office, carry him out, and take him to a beach somewhere for a week, so he could fucking sleep. But I couldn’t even suggest it, because that would just get me shut out. Not that what I was about to tell him would likely go over any better.
“Are you slammed today?”
He let out an exhausted laugh. “Always.”
Lately I felt like any request I made felt like an imposition. Camilo constantly told me that being with me was the only time he felt like he could relax, but it was getting harder to keep quiet while I saw him struggle. “So, I have a favor to ask.” I paused, hoping this didn’t freak him out. “My mom is here.”
“What? How?” The tiredness in his voice was quickly replaced with panic. “I thought they were coming for the launch.”
I felt like shit for asking, but he was the contact for the renovation and he’d told me again and again that he didn’t want our relationship interfering with his job.
“That was the plan, but she ended up coming for a few days to help a friend who needed to have a check-up with her oncologist.” Camilo sighed and I grimaced, feeling weary of how everything felt so strained lately. “She got in yesterday morning and is leaving tomorrow night. She’d like to go see the renovation before she goes back, because she may not be able to make it here for the event.”
The silence on the other line was heavy.
“This is really last minute, Tom.” He sounded like he was about to cry, and again I felt like shit. Because in the end, this was also me being a selfish asshole and trying to find an excuse to see him.
When the silence stretched without a word from Camilo, I decided to cut my losses. “It’s okay. I’ll let my mom know it’s not possible,” I said, hoping I’d been able to hide my disappointment.
“No, Tom, this is my job.” He sighed again. “It’s not an issue at all. The main reason I was even put on this project was so that I could communicate with your mother.”
We both knew that was bullshit, and I’d just manipulated the situation to see more of him, sort of like I was doing now. I was about to call the whole thing off when he spoke again.
“I can take you guys there today. It would be my pleasure to give her a tour.” His cordial, “all business” tone was even more concerning than the weary one before, because this sounded like a different person.
“You know what, mi amor? We can just do it at another time.” I forced myself to come up with a lighter tone. “The shelter isn’t going anywhere,” I said, hating myself for starting this shit.
“Don’t be silly, Tom. I just need to let the shelter managers know we’re coming, so they can get ready. What time works for you?”
I cleared my throat, but when I spoke, I sounded off. “She’s taking Libe out to get mani/pedis or something after school.”
“I bet my boo’s excited for that.” For the first time in the conversation, I felt like I was talking to Camilo.
“You know how she is,” I said with a real smile on my lips this time.
Camilo exhaled, but he sounded better. “I feel like I’m talking to my long-distance boyfriend. I miss you, baby.” I shuddered, feeling the same need deep in my gut.
“And I miss you.” There was no hiding the bone deep want in my voice.
“Why don’t you guys come around eleven, I’ll let you know where to go.” He was back to business, but the tone changed, we wereusagain. “Also…we need to keep things professional between us.” He sounded a little mortified, and I rushed to let him know he did not need to worry.
“I understand, whatever you need, mi amor.” Simple as that. “I totally get it. Thanks for doing this, mi vida.”
As I ended the call, I reminded myself once again this was temporary; if I could just be patient and let Camilo do what he needed to do for his mother, we’d have forever waiting on the other side.
“You look at him like he’s water after a long day in the sun, m’ijo.”
I shook my head at my mother and her mushiness, my eyes still zeroed in on Camilo.
“Behave, Mamí, remember?—”
She chuckled, squeezing my elbow. “I know, no ‘boyfriend’ talk, I’m aware that you went and got yourself caught up in a secret affair.” Her eyes twinkled when she looked at me. “This man keeps bringing out new sides of you.” She shot me the look that was usually followed by some kind of anecdote illustrating how I was a perfect child. “You were always so self-contained, not a word out of place, but fierce.” She ran a hand over my shoulder, her eyes on Camilo as he approached. “You were always impatient when it came to going after what you wanted. I’m glad someone is finally making you wait.”
