“I have an idea, and I really hope this time I can show him just how much I’m willing to do for him.”
chapter twenty-nine
camilo
The messages and missed call notifications on my phone were out of control, after being off the grid for twenty-four hours, people were getting on edge. I’d turned on my phone about an hour ago and was still listening to voicemails.
I’d gotten back home from my blowout with Tom in a fog. I called my mom to tell her I was fine, but that I needed some time to myself. I begged her not to come over or have any of my friends come over until I had time to think. After that, I’d just lain in bed, completely numb. Not crying, not angry, just…empty.
I kept playing the fight over and over in my head, how scared Tom looked and how fucked up I’d felt. I knew I needed to talk to him, to give him a chance to at least properly apologize. But I wasn’t ready, not yet. I heard the intercom buzz and got up to answer, dreading having to deal with my friends’ concerned questions.
“Yeah?”
“It’s us, babe. We have wine and other supplies.”
“I don’t know if I’m up to company yet, Ayako.”
Before she had time to answer, Juan Pablo’s loud voice suddenly came over the speaker.
“Camilo Santiago, it’s fucking freezing out here, and this pizza is getting cold. Let us in so we can make you feel betterand figure out how you can get back together with this rich douchebag. Come on, pa. My feet are going numb.”
I grumbled pushing the buzzer. “Fine, but I’m not in the mood to talk.”
I left my door open for them before getting back in bed. I hit play on my iPhone again and went back to staring at my wall. After a minute, Ayako and Juanpa stormed into my tiny apartment.
“Oh my god, why are all the lights off, Camilo? I’m going to kill myself.”
That was Ayako. She flipped the kitchen light on, causing me to yelp and pull the covers over my head.
“Ugh, that’s too bright, Ayako.” She totally ignored my complaint and came over to the bed instead. She immediately started trying to pull me up and hug me at the same time.
“How are you doing, hon? You had us so worried.” Her forehead was all wrinkled as she pulled back to take a good look at me. “Where are we at right now? Are we cursing his name and burning the shit he bought, or are we just retreating to figure things out?”
I shrugged her off grumpily. “Ayako, chill. I’m getting up in a minute. I’m just cold. And no, we’re not burning anything just yet, but we’re definitely not doing well.” She squeezed my shoulder in sympathy.
“We got you, friend. We brought everything we need to figure this out.” She started listing things. “Wine, pizza, emergency pack of Camel lights?—”
She stopped and tilted her head to listen to the music that was playing. “Oh damn, is that ‘Ex-Factor’?” She straightened like she was girding her loins. I rolled my eyes at her clowning. “Okay, so we’re rolling deep tonight.” She looked over at Juanpa like they needed to revise the game plan and he noddedsolemnly. They were so extra, but I really was glad to have them here.
“This shit is serious if we’re throwing back to The Miseducation,” Juanpa said, pulling a pint of some kind of artisanal gelato from the paper bag he was holding. “Good thing we stopped at the bougie bodega down the street and got this.”
Ayako gave us both a thumbs-up, and went to the kitchen. Immediately she started putting wine in the fridge and getting plates out, as I stared at their takeover of my apartment.
Juanpa the dirtbag was already eating a slice of pizza out of the box without even taking his coat off. He gestured to the box as if asking if I wanted a slice. I shook my head.
“I’m not hungry.”
Ayako scoffed at my rejection. “Well you’re going to eat and tell us what happened! Dinorah’s worried about you, too. She asked us to tell you to call her.”
“I called her already. She’s at Odette’s at a dinner party. I told her I’d come over tomorrow.”
Juanpa finished inhaling his slice of pizza and walked over to me after finally taking his Tims and coat off. “Have you talked to Tom?”
I turned my head away and lay back on my side, so I was back to staring at my new favorite spot on the wall. “No, I have like four messages from him, but I didn’t call him back. The first couple were right after I left his house. They were just desperate, and begging me to call him. The last one was from this morning. He said he knew how much he’d hurt me and if I could just give him a little bit of time, he would show me how much he loves me.”
“Damn.” Juanpa, always a man of few words.
I stopped to take a deep breath, feeling like I was going to cry. “He said, he never wants to lose me.” I sighed as Ayako passedme a slice of pizza. I glanced up at her with a hopeful look. “Vino?”
